Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 6 of 68

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Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Raj: So-so-so you're just apologizing because you need something?
Howard: Yes, and I think it's pretty mature of me to admit it.
Raj: Well, that's very insulting.
Howard: Right again.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Raj: I'd really like to be there.
Howard: Great, 'cause it's tomorrow, and I need you to plan it.
Raj: What?
Howard: Stuart was gonna help, but the free clinic had an open spot for a colonoscopy, and he jumped on it.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Howard: Great. Can you bring a few things?
Stuart: Sure. What do you need?
Howard: Balloons, streamers, ice, snacks, a bounce house, face painter, and a couple kids whose parents are willing to lie and say they know me from the Daddy and Me class I've never been to.
Stuart: Where do you and Halley go every week?
Howard: The important thing is we're together, and if the movie gets too violent, I cover her eyes.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Raj: Are you kidding me? You're not gonna invite me to Halley's birthday? I'm her godfather; that means something.
Howard: Or - hear me out on this - it doesn't.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Howard: Hey, guys, there's a change of plans. We are having a party for Halley's birthday after all. Turns out Bernadette and "anyone who's not a heartless monster" thinks that's the right thing to do.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Howard: You're a grown man; act like it.
Raj: Big talk coming from a guy holding an Archie comic book.
Howard: Hey, werewolf Jughead is not your dad's Jughead.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Leonard: Isn't Halley's birthday the same as Amy's?
Howard: Yeah, but we're not doing anything big 'cause she's one, Bernadette's on bed rest, and (clears throat) I'm lazy.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Raj: You know how many favors I had to call in with my bounce house guy to get Wonder Woman?
Howard: Is that Wonder Woman?
Raj: Technically, it's a Chinese knockoff called Happy Strong Swimsuit Lady.
Howard: Then I take it back; it's a great party.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Howard: Really? You're not gonna sit here?
Raj: I'll sit there as soon as you leave.
Howard: You're still on this? I said sorry.
Raj: Well, "sorry" doesn't make up for years of emotional abuse.
Howard: (sighs) Well, what's it gonna take? You want half my sandwich?

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Raj: I'd be in charge of developing and narrating all the planetarium shows. And I really want this, so it wouldn't kill you to be more supportive.
Howard: But if it did, you could bury me at the funeral home you direct.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Howard: Oh, good. Raj is here to tell us today's specials.
Raj: Very funny. I have my interview this afternoon.
Howard: Oh. If it doesn't work out, you're ready to go on your Mormon mission.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Howard: Look, I I can see you're upset, but I'm gonna need some ground rules. I mean, while we're apart, can I see other needy Indian men?

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Howard: Hey, is that Raj there at girls' night? Well, hey.
Raj: Hey, Howard.
Howard: Just remember, if you fall asleep first, they're gonna freeze your bra.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: Neither of them will be the actual cake. I'm just using it as a bargaining chip to get Amy to agree to the whole wedding party getting rings and us getting one ring to rule them all.
Howard: I forget, which mental hospital are you guys registered at?

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Leonard: You know what, if you need a computer, you can use my laptop.
Penny: Oh, that's sweet, but I'm not gonna take your computer.
Leonard: Oh, it's fine. I-I'm getting a new one anyway.
Penny: Are you sure?
Sheldon: Don't be silly. He's desperate to hold on to you. You can get anything out of him. His car, his watch-
Howard: Maybe a kidney. You already have his testicles. You can start a collection.

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