Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 60 of 68

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Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Raj: I mean, do you think it's too soon for her to be dating? If you and Bernadette broke up, like, how long would you wait?
Howard: Oh, well, I don't even want to think-
Bernadette: Eight days.
Howard: What?
Bernadette: Two days to cry. Six days to hit the gym.
Howard: First of all, you already look amazing.
Bernadette: Aw, that's sweet.
Howard: I'm gonna give him an extra day of crying.

Quote from the episode The Psychic Vortex

Howard: Are we taking our relationship frustrations out on innocent Cylons?
Leonard: It's not just Cylons. Superman's next.
Howard: All right, I was going to try to squeeze in a little more mocking before lunch, but I can come back later when you don't have a high-powered weapon.

Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation

Howard: "Thunder clapped as Thor raised his mighty hammer. Indy rapped, 'That's one bad mamma-jamma.'
Raj: That-that is so good!
Howard: Right? Mamma-jamma just came to me.

Quote from the episode The Hawking Excitation

Howard: What's the matter?
Bernadette: Every time I spend the night, your mom slaps me on the behind and says, go get 'im.
Howard: It's not her fault. She's getting hormone replacement therapy. Makes her crazy horny.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Howard: But don't you think it will be different when the child is ours?
Bernadette: Right, when it's our kid that has ruined my body, and kept me up all night, and I've got no career and no future, and nothing to be happy about for the next twenty years. Sure, that'll be completely different.
Howard: Well, yeah.

Quote from the episode The Hawking Excitation

Howard: Oh, guys, I just remembered. I got you some Hawking souvenirs.
Leonard: What are these?
Howard: Gears and springs from his wheelchair. Pretty cool, huh?
Raj: Wow, that's amazing.
Howard: Yeah, I made an adjustment on the motor drive and when I was putting it back together I could not for the life of me figure out where they went.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Penny: I can't believe you let him kick me out of the car.
Howard: What could we do? He's the Travel Supervisor.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Howard: Hey, Bernie?
Bernadette: Yeah?
Howard: Please tell me he's your gay cousin.
Bernadette: No. He was one of my professors in college.
Howard: Oh! That's a relief.
Bernadette: Then we went out for a year.

Quote from the episode The Proposal Proposal

Howard: Well, congratulations. I'm so happy for you two. Hold on, I have to tell Bernadette. Hey, Bernie, guess what? Sheldon and Amy got engaged. Can you believe it?
Bernadette: (In the bathroom with a pregnancy test) Oh, my God. I cannot believe it.
Howard: She's so happy I think she's crying.

Quote from the episode The Friendship Contraction

Bernadette: Howard doesn't make me do his shopping, or take him to the dentist, or pick up his dry cleaning, right?
Howard: Absolutely. But when Ma's hips give out, you're up, kid.

Quote from the episode The Hawking Excitation

Howard: All right, Sheldon. There's only one thing left I want you to do. Don't worry, it's an easy one.
Sheldon: Okay.
Howard: Give me a compliment.
Sheldon: Fine. You have very tiny hands.
Howard: No, about my job. I want you to tell me I'm good at what I do.
Sheldon: You're obviously good at what you do.
Howard: Well, then why are you always ripping on me?
Sheldon: Oh, I understand the confusion. I have never said that you are not good at what you do. It's just that what you do is not worth doing.
Leonard: It's nicer than anything he's ever said to me. I'd take it and run.
Howard: Thank you, Sheldon.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Howard: That green bag is Dr. Cooper's. Here's an extra five. Make him wait.

Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition

Sheldon: I also now have three points on a driver's license I do not yet possess, and I was forced to issue an undeserved apology, simply because I refuse to urinate in a stainless steel bowl in front of criminals.
Howard: Plus, you didn't get to meet Stan Lee.

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Leonard: I'm thinking one way to counter bias in the peer-review process is for papers to be submitted under gender-neutral names. Like S. Smith instead of Samantha Smith.
Sheldon: I supposed there is a history for professional women using their initials so as not to be pre-judged. Harry Potter's J.K. Rowling, Star Trek's D.C. Fontana.
Howard: Van Nuys pole dancer D.D. Melons.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Howard: I'm just thinking. If you had sex with that guy, I mean, there's nothing I can do here that will make any kind of ... impact.

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