Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 67 of 77

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Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, have you seen my girdle?!
Howard: No, Ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I can't find it, and I'm late for my Weight Watchers meeting!
Howard: Maybe it committed suicide!

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Leonard: So you want to get back together with her, but you're too ashamed to face her because of whatever it is you did.
Howard: In a nutshell.
Leonard: Okay. Well, how about this? Kidnap Bernadette from the opera wearing a creepy mask so she doesn't know it's you.
Howard: Now, you see, I don't know if you're kidding or not.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Howard: Will you talk to her, see if there's any chance at all we could get back together?
Penny: Oh, gee, Howard, I really don't want to get in the middle of this.
Howard: No. Why would you? I'm just another lonely nerd, living with his mother, trying to find any scrap of happiness he can. You know, maybe to make up for the fact that his dad left him when he was 11.
Penny: Okay, I will think about it.
Howard: You know, I've always blamed myself for him leaving. I always thought it was because I wasn't the son he wanted.
Penny: Yeah, I said I'd think about it.
Howard: I wasn't athletic, yeah, I was kind of sickly.
Penny: Okay, fine. Look, look, I'm calling her now! See?
Howard: Thank you.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Howard: How have you been?
Bernadette: Okay. You know, busy, school, work. You?
Howard: Same. I took a scuba-diving course over the summer, but it turns out I'm terrified of the ocean.
Bernadette: Too bad.
Howard: You wouldn't know anybody who wants to buy a wet suit, boy's large? Yeah, forget it. Not important.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Howard: Okay, fine. I'll admit, there are dark, sordid little corners of the Internet where the name Wolowizard is whispered in hushed tones. But the only reason I go there, the only reason I've ever gone there is because I don't have a real woman in my life. You happy?

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Howard: You really saved the day.
Raj: Well, it's not for you. It's for Halley.
Howard: And I'm sure she'd appreciate it, if she knew what's going on or who you are.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Raj: Those are the only other people you invited? What about the kids from the Daddy and Me class?
Howard: Oh, grow up.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Howard: I'm not gonna fight her. That kid's head was the size of a cantaloupe.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Howard: Completely empty box. If you'd like to examine it?
Leonard: Mm-hmm. Yep. I see nothing in this box but a wasted childhood.
Howard: Little snarky there, cello lessons.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Bernadette: Oh, you have a lot of magic stuff.
Howard: Yeah. I started when I was a teenager. I thought I could show a girl a few tricks and invite her up to my bedroom to see the rest of the act.
Bernadette: Did it work?
Howard: Ah, let's just say the only wand that ever saw any action was this one.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Raj: What's your mom going to say if you call off the wedding?
Howard: Huh, it'll kill her. On the other hand, if I don't give her grandchildren, that'll kill her, too. So, either way, on the Mom front, I'm golden.

Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation

Howard: Just FYI, don't try to go back with a fake moustache. I mean, they may not really be geniuses, but they see right through that.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Raj: That's funny. I always thought Howard was nature's way of saying the Wolowitz line ends here.
Howard: Me, too, but life does find a way!

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Penny: Listen, I need to talk to Sheldon.
Howard: (Raj whispers in his ear) No, that's what she said, Sheldon.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Howard: What the frak?
Leonard: Beats me. They were playing all last night too.
Raj: It's like some kind of weird comic book crossover.
Howard: Like if Hulk were dating Peppermint Patty.
Raj: I always thought Peppermint Patty was a lesbian?
Leonard: No, that's Marcie. Peppermint Patty's just athletic.

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