Howard: Well, I love the kids, but I also love my job. And sleep.
Bernadette: I know. I took a two-hour nap on the couch in my office.
Howard: I took a three-hour nap on the floor in the living room.
Bernadette: How do you feel now?
Howard: Honestly? Still tired.
Bernadette: Me, too.

Howard: Everyone's asleep. You want to head upstairs and (giggles) you know.
Bernadette: Let's just do it right here.
Howard: Oh, oh, I like the way you think. [They move a plate away, and both put their heads down to sleep]

Raj: If Bruce Banner's driving a rental car and turns into the Hulk, do you think he's covered, or does he need to add the Hulk as an additional driver?
Howard: You really need a girlfriend.

Sheldon: I think you should turn on the GPS.
Leonard: It is on.
Sheldon: But the turn-by-turn voice option isn't on. I know I'd feel more safe if you turn on the turn-by-turn voice option. I love the turn-by-turn voice option.
Howard: Has it really only been ten miles?

Sheldon: No, that means it's Chinese food night.
Penny: Yeah, and you have Chinese food. So eat it.
Sheldon: But I can smell your pastrami.
Howard: And we can all hear your complaining, so no one's happy.

Howard: Do you see anything that could help us locate her?
Bernadette: Hmm, let me have a look.
Howard: She's got eagle eyes, always spotting continuity errors in movies. (chuckles) It's not annoying at all.

Howard: Can't believe you got her number.
Raj: I know, right? How amazing would it be if this worked out and the story of how I met my wife started with you and me in the hot tub together.
Howard: Well, do us both a favor and start the story later.

Raj: What is so exciting?
Sheldon: It's a letter from Dr. Wolcott. We've been corresponding about my string theory research.
Leonard: Wait. Robert Wolcott? Like Wolcott's Theorem Wolcott?
Sheldon: The very same.
Raj: Didn't he go crazy and cut off all contact with people?
Howard: Yeah, he was driven mad by a friend who kept wanting to talk about the Hulk's car insurance!

Raj: You understanding any of this?
Howard: I haven't understood anything since poop tomato.

Raj: Sheldon's right. This guy, this guy's brilliant.
Howard: Yeah, I mean, he's a little kooky, but a mind that can reconceptualize time probably has a reason for keeping a jar of toenail clippings that we just don't understand.

Penny: No, there's something fuzzy.
Howard: Is it your teen years?
Penny: No. Yes. Shut up.

Howard: You look great.
Bernadette: Oh, thanks. Would you believe this is actually a dress from before I was pregnant?
Howard: Well, it's not a competition, but I wore this suit to my Bar Mitzvah.

Howard: I talked to her yesterday. She really seems to know her stuff.
Sheldon: Challenge accepted.
Howard: That is not what that was.

Bernadette: What's all this?
Howard: Well, we missed our date night, and Stuart's working again, so I thought we could have a date night here at home.
Bernadette: Aw, that's so sweet.
Howard: Oh. So is that really what you're wearing to our date night?
Bernadette: Well, Stuart's not here and the kids are sleeping. I could wear nothing.
Howard: You might want to hold off on that, we're starting with soup.

Bernadette: There goes date night.
Howard: Are you kidding? Stuart's here! Get your purse. We're going out.
Bernadette: What about the dinner you made?
Howard: Right. Hey, Stuart! That can of soup sitting by the stove, that's for you!
Bernadette: You made canned soup for date night?
Howard: And you wore sweatpants. Let's go.