Howard: I can't believe we spent three months in that frozen hell.
Raj: It's like a snowy nightmare from which there's no awakening.

Howard: (Southern Accent) If y'all don't mind, I got a hankering for a lone star beer.
Mary: There's no alcohol in this household, stop talking like that, and lose the hat.
Howard: Sorry, I'll take a diet yoo-hoo if you have one.
Mary: You'll take a Coke.

Raj: (Strangling Howard) I am Shiva the Destroyer, I will have the woman.
Howard: I'm warning you, I took Judo at math camp.

Sheldon: Did Han Solo let Luke Skywalker freeze to death on the Planet Hoth? No, he opened a Ton Ton to keep his body temperature from plummeting.
Howard: You heard the man, hold him down and I'll cut him open.

Raj: Excuse me, I can't be drinking, I'm about to make an important scientific discovery here.
Howard:What? Galileo did his best work while drinking wine.
Raj: How do you know that?
Howard: He was Italian, it's a reasonable assumption.
Raj: Dude, can you even open your mouth without saying a cultural stereotype?
Howard: I'm sorry. Galileo drank diet sprite.

Howard: I say we just take him to Tatooine and sell him to some Jawas.
Raj: That's two, dude. Write your own jokes.

Wolowitz: I would like a slippery nipple.

Howard: I got the Mars-rover stuck in the ditch.
Sheldon: Where?
Howard: On a dusty highway just outside Bakersfield. Where do you think?! On Mars!

Raj: Stop hitting on my lady or you shall experience my wrath.
Sheldon: I am not hitting on her.
Lalita: And I am not your Lady.
Howard: And you have no wrath.

Sheldon: Why does Leonard get to go?
Wolowitz: Because he's upset over his situation with Penny, and if I have to hear about it again, I'm gonna kick him in his ovaries!
Leonard: Thanks for understanding.
Howard: I've got your back, sister!

Sheldon: Zandor, wizard of the north. Ha! I win!
Howard: If you skip the part about under a two week quarantine because you were exposed to a deadly disease, absolutely.

Leonard: Does your family have a history of heart disease?
Wolowitz: My family is the history of heart disease. There's a cave painting in France of one of my ancestors doing this. *Mimics heart attack*

Wolowitz: Have you told your parents you're dating this short glass of skim milk?

Bernadette: You're a putz. Do you what that means?
Howard: Yeah. Do you?

Priya: Indian parents are very protective of their children.
Howard: Right. Whereas Jewish mothers take a casual la-di-da approach to their sons.