Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 75 of 77

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Quote from the episode The Donation Oscillation

Howard: But I've done this before. And since you really, really want to go, I'll stay here.
Bernadette: Oh. Great.
Howard: Unless you don't want to because I was right and I do know you.
Bernadette: Well, if you really know me, then you know how far I'll go to prove a point.
Howard: Apparently, 34,000 feet that way, then straight back down, up and down, over and over again until you throw up food you didn't even eat.

Quote from the episode The Inspiration Deprivation

Raj: Well, does take me back.
Howard: Yeah, the two of us, cruising around town looking for women.
Raj: Looking and looking and looking. Remember that time one looked back and said hi?
Howard: Oh, yeah. We drove away so fast.

Quote from the episode The D & D Vortex

Wil Wheaton: Hello.
Howard: [imitating Shatner] Wil, Bill Shatner here.
Wil Wheaton: Is this Howard?
Howard: Of course not. It- It's Shatner. If you don't believe me, ask my good friend, Christopher Walken. [imitating Walken] Hello, Bill and I are just hanging out at The Polo Lounge.
Raj: Mr. Shatner, Mr. Walken, here are your martinis. [glass dings]
Howard: [whispering in normal voice] What are you doing?
Raj: I'm filling out the world.
Howard: You're ruining it.
Wil Wheaton: No, he's not.
Raj: Thanks, Wil.

Quote from the episode The Conference Valuation

Bernadette: Now, the emergency contacts are on the fridge and I left money for food on the table.
Howard: Oh, sounds like I do get paid.

Quote from the episode The Conference Valuation

Howard: Don't worry. I got this covered.
Bernadette: I know you do. Quick question, where are the kids right now?
Howard: They're upstairs.
Bernadette: They're at daycare.
Howard: They're at daycare?
Bernadette: They're upstairs!
Howard: Why are you messing with me?

Quote from the episode The Conference Valuation

Howard: What do you say? We'll play some board games. It'll be like a party.
Leonard: Three guys playing a board game doesn't sound like much of a party.
Howard: [chuckles] Someone doesn't remember college very well.

Quote from the episode The Conference Valuation

Raj: Hey, this one we can do with both Michael and Halley. It's called Grabby Hands.
Leonard: Wasn't that your nickname in high school?
Howard: No, it was Mama's Boy. But the joke was on them, because I love my mom.

Quote from the episode The Conference Valuation

Bernadette: Hey, Howie, everything okay?
Howard: Yeah, everything's great. I was just wondering if we had any large barbecue tongs.
Bernadette: Uh, bottom left drawer. Are you guys grilling?
Howard: Nope, just playing games with the kids.
Bernadette: Why do you need tongs?
Howard: Love you, too, bye.

Quote from the episode The Conference Valuation

Howard: That's time.
Sheldon: Oh, really? Can we do one more?
Howard: I think these guys need to get some food.
Sheldon: By pushing a lever at the end of an obstacle course that we design?
Howard: No, by opening the door to a hangar and letting the airplane fly in.

Quote from the episode The Laureate Accumulation

Stuart: Uh, Bernadette said you weren't crazy about the book.
Howard: No. It's great. I just don't want anyone to ever see it or read it or know it exists.

Quote from the episode The Laureate Accumulation

Howard: Well, look, what if we made a few changes?
Stuart: Uh, sure, yes. What-what do you have in mind?
Howard: Well, nothing major. But see here on the cover, where it says "frightened little," what if, I don't know, it didn't say that?
Stuart: So, it would just be The Astronaut?
Howard: Yeah, you're right. That doesn't quite pop. What about The Brave Astronaut? See, that's got some zip to it!
Stuart: Okay.
Howard: And here on this page, where I'm crying. What if, instead, I'm punching a meteor into the sun with my bare fists?
Stuart: So you have superpowers?
Howard: I like the way you're thinking.

Quote from the episode The Laureate Accumulation

Howard: So what do you think?
Bernadette: I think if you were in space without a shirt on, you'd die.
Howard: Oh. No, I am wearing a shirt. It's just skintight, so you can see my pecs.
Bernadette: When did you get pecs?
Howard: Yesterday, when I made Stuart add them.

Quote from the episode The Laureate Accumulation

Bernadette: Howie, what I liked about the other story was that it was real. I mean, nothing in this actually happened to you.
Howard: So, it's a children's book. I mean, cats don't wear hats. And if someone gives you green eggs, it ends with you on the toilet trying to make a deal with God.

Quote from the episode The Laureate Accumulation

Bernadette: I'm just a wife that is so proud of her husband, and doesn't think that he has anything to be embarrassed about.
Howard: Oh. You're sounding less and less Jewish.

Quote from the episode The Laureate Accumulation

Howard: "Once upon a time, there was a little astronaut who was sitting in a rocket waiting to go to space. And while all the other astronauts laughed and joked, he stayed quiet, because he had a secret. He was scared. He had another secret, too. He was only pretending to be scared to trick the alien king."
Bernadette: Howie.
Howard: Fine. There was no alien. [chuckles] There was a bossy wife, though. We'll get to her later.

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