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Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 76 of 77

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Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Howard: Hey, Ma, twinkle, twinkle, your little star is home. (Fails to open the door) Ma, the chain's on the door.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard? I thought I wasn't going to see you till tomorrow.
Howard: Yeah, well, Bernie's not feeling well. So I thought I'd stop by, tell you about the greatest adventure of my life, see if you can make me feel bad about it.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Uh, uh, okay. Hold on, I'm not decent.
Howard: All right. (Speaking to himself) Woman hasn't tied her robe in 20 years. Suddenly she's not decent?

Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Sheldon: You brought a girl to the Mars Rover control room?
Howard: Yeah, I picked her up in the bar. She's a doctor. One free barium enema and my mother won't care she's not Jewish.
Leonard: Wait a minute, so the eye patch and the insults worked?
Howard: No, there were three other guys with eye patches, it was a fiasco. What did work was, "How'd you like to visit a secret government facility?"

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Amy: I'm really impressed at how you handled that, Howard.
Howard: Please. I've been sending food back my entire life. One of my first full sentences was, "I had breast milk for breakfast!"

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Howard: Howard Wolowitz, department of engineering, co-designer of the International Space Station's Liquid Waste Disposal System.
Ramona: Ew.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Howard: We should call Guinness, that might be a record.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Howard: You know, the Pishkin-Wolowitz Liquid Waste Disposal System is turning a few heads as well.
Ramona: Again, ew.

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Penny: Look, can't you just let him play with you until bedtime?
Leonard: We're not playing. This is real work.
Howard: We're going to be hundred-aires.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Howard: What you've got to keep in mind is that ever since my dad left, I've been the whole world to my mother. I mean, she'd be threatened by any woman who can give me what she can't.
Bernadette: You mean sexual intercourse?
Howard: Well, when you say it like that you make it sound creepy.

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Raj: Oh, my God, you're back. Oh, look at you. You, you look like you grew.
Howard: Yeah. The lack of gravity did decompress my spine, so I'm like an inch and a half taller. I'm going to the DMV tomorrow to get my license changed before I shrink back.

Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis

Raj: This is fun. I've never used a hydraulic thermoforming press before.
Howard: Pretty sweet, huh? This little baby set the university back 175 grand.
Leonard: That's three minutes. Should we see what we got?
Howard: Hang on.
Raj: Oh, yeah. This is one good-looking panini.
Howard: Hand me the tuna melt.

Quote from the episode The Retraction Reaction

Raj: So, what do you want us to do?
Penny: I don't know. You're scientists; cheer them up.
Howard: "Cheer them up"? Do you even know what a scientist is?

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Howard: Ooh, check out the stripper pole.
Bernadette: You know what that means.
Leonard: That Raj'll be on it before we make it to the freeway?
Howard: You know it!

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Leonard: Maybe we should double date. I'll bring Penny and you can bring your mom.
Howard: Oh, make your jokes, but my date started a savings account for me. Did yours?

Quote from the episode The Line Substitution Solution

Bernadette: Howie? You doing okay? You've been in there a while.
Howard: (In the bathroom) I'm fine. Be right out.
Am I an American hero? Well, that's a good question, Jim. Dont you think once an astronaut leaves the planet, he's a hero to all the nations of the Earth? (Toilet flush) Okey dokey. I think I have time for one more question.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Penny: Don't be silly. I'll take the rest of the day off and watch Halley for you.
Bernadette: Or we can call Stuart. I'm sure he could close up the store, hop on a bus, and be here in no time.
Howard: He does love the bus.

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