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Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 77 of 77

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Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Howard: Hey, guys, there's a change of plans. We are having a party for Halley's birthday after all. Turns out Bernadette and "anyone who's not a heartless monster" thinks that's the right thing to do.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Raj: Are you kidding me? You're not gonna invite me to Halley's birthday? I'm her godfather; that means something.
Howard: Or - hear me out on this - it doesn't.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Raj: So-so-so you're just apologizing because you need something?
Howard: Yes, and I think it's pretty mature of me to admit it.
Raj: Well, that's very insulting.
Howard: Right again.

Quote from the episode The Procreation Calculation

Howard: I've known you a long time. You believe in romance more than any person I've ever met and it's hard to see you give up on that. But if you really think marrying this woman is gonna make you happy, then you have my complete and total support.
I will be with you every step of the way.
Raj: Thanks, Howard. That means a lot.
Howard: So, hey, is this wedding gonna be in India?
Raj: Ah, maybe.
Howard: Urgh.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Bernadette: It didn't help that you couldn't walk a straight line when the cop pulled you over.
Howard: I have performance anxiety. You of all people should know that.

Quote from the episode The Retraction Reaction

Howard: Okay, let's talk about something that won't infuriate my pregnant wife.
Raj: I read an interesting fact about elephants.
Howard: Try again.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Howard: Why wouldn't that colonel say what the meeting's about? It has to be bad news.
Raj: Calm down, okay? Try not to think about it.
Howard: That's really stupid advice.
Raj: You know that hurts my feelings.
Howard: Calm down, try not to think about it.
Raj: (upbeat) Okay.

Quote from the episode The Inspiration Deprivation

Raj: Hey, check it out. That looks like the moped you used to have.
Howard: It wasn't a moped. It was a scooter.
Raj: How's that better?
Howard: You do not want to walk into a scooter bar and ask that question.

Quote from the episode The Retraction Reaction

Howard: Give me the bottle. I mean, it might be a little corny, but I say we pour one out for all the science homies who came before us.

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Marty: Hello.
Howard: Hey, Marty. Thanks for talking to us.
Marty: Hey, no problem. Thanks for going to outer space so no matter what I do my mom will be disappointed in me.
Howard: Well, I married a little Catholic girl, so we're even.

Quote from the episode The Conference Valuation

Howard: Bernadette thinks I have poor parenting skills.
Leonard: Maybe she's basing that on your poor husbanding skills.
Howard: Who can say? I'm bad at a lot of things.

Quote from the episode The Tenant Disassociation

Raj: Oh, this is the life. What could be better than this?
Howard: If you weren't wearing one of my swimsuits.
Raj: I'll give it back.
Howard: (chuckles) You know the rule. Once it touches hiney, it's no longer miney.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Howard: Hey, is that Raj there at girls' night? Well, hey.
Raj: Hey, Howard.
Howard: Just remember, if you fall asleep first, they're gonna freeze your bra.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Howard: [In Mandarin] This is Howard Wolowitz. We didn't get our fried rice. My fat Indian friend is upset. Thank you.

Quote from the episode The D & D Vortex

Raj: But y-you blocked your number, right?
Howard: Relax, this is not my first creepy phone call. It's like riding a bike ... slowly past a girl's house.

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