Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 2 of 71

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Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Sheldon: Why did you lie to me?
Leonard: I don't know. It just seemed funny at first and then the longer it went on, funnier it got.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Amy: I've always liked the name Elliott.
Leonard: Sorry, can't have it. That's my boy name.
Amy: I said it first.
Leonard: It's not like calling dibs.
Amy: Yes, it is. It's exactly like that. Dibs on Elliott.
Leonard: I'm just saying, we might get there first. You only have sex once a year. I'll probably have sex tonight. [Penny looks at Leonard] Fine, you can have Elliott.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Leonard: My mother believes that if you're not prepared mentally, it can delay your body from going into labor.
Bernadette: So what are you trying to say? It's my fault?
Leonard: (sighs) Raj is crazy. Your ankles aren't that gross.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Sheldon: Hey, I was just talking about you.
Amy: Oh, should I ask?
Leonard: You should not.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Sheldon: Yeah, not to brag, but Amy's last birthday brought my coital tally up to four.
Leonard: Whatever you're doing, it's not bragging.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Penny: When did you pick out our kids' names?
Leonard: Remember that day you moved into the building?
Penny: (chuckles) Yes.
Leonard: A non-creepy amount of time after that.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Penny: I know I'm Ilsa.
Leonard: Wha-? That is crazy. You-you two are totally different.
Penny: How?
Leonard: Well, you- She- Her name's Ilsa.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Penny: It's pretty obvious; blonde, mean, glasses.
Leonard: It doesn't say "glasses."
Penny: Oh, really?
Leonard: But it will, because Ilsa does. And you know who else wears them? Bernadette. And-and that's her, cause it's, it's totally, it's totally her.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Bernadette: So, does Penny know you based a character on her?
Leonard: What character?
Bernadette: Ilsa, the head of the institute. That's clearly Penny.
Leonard: No, it's not.
Bernadette: Really? Confident, ball-busting beauty who's always rolling her eyes at Logan?
Leonard: Trust me, that describes more women than you think.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Bernadette: But this is good so far, really good.
Leonard: Yeah?
Bernadette: Yeah. I have no idea who the killer is.
Leonard: Oh, great. Me, neither.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Leonard: Oh. Oh! I just thought of the murder weapon!
Penny: Swiss army knife?
Leonard: (laughs) No. [after Penny leaves] That's way better.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Penny: So, how's the book coming along?
Leonard: Uh, good. I just wrote the part where the hero, hotshot physicist Logan Dean, arrives at CERN.
Penny: Oh, is he based on you?
Leonard: Uh, kind of. But he can eat dairy products without having to leave the room.
Penny: Yeah, that's smart, because CERN is in Switzerland and there's a lot of cheese there.
Leonard: Hmm. Uh, believe me, that is a plot point later.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Penny: What's that noise?
Leonard: Oh, it's my new keyboard. It looks and sounds like an old-fashioned typewriter. It makes me feel like a real novelist.
Penny: You poured yourself a Scotch.
Leonard: Apple juice.
Penny: Oh.
Leonard: But unsweetened, like Hemingway used to drink.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Penny: Hey, how'd it go?
Leonard: Well, apparently he's not leaving and I have to go get him sparkling water.
Penny: Why are you smiling?
Leonard: I don't know. It just feels right.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Leonard: Hey, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello.
Leonard: Hey. So, your contract provides for a three-day trial period, and I don't think this is working out. So, to put it in legal terms, the party of the first part would like the party of the second part to get out.

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