Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 2 of 82

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Quote from the episode The Stockholm Syndrome

Leonard: Excuse me, but if I recall, you're the one who went out drinking with Sheldon, then came home and attacked me.
Penny: Attacked you? I said, "Do you wanna?"
Leonard: Yeah. I was helpless.
Penny: Uh-huh.
Leonard: So do you wanna?
Penny: Well, I can't get more pregnant.
Leonard: Mm-hmm. We'll see about that.

Quote from the episode The Change Constant

Leonard: I'm done enabling him. Like, this is his spot and-and the thermostat has to be set to his comfort level, even though he doesn't even live here anymore and I'm always chilly.
Raj: Is that why you wear a hoodie all the time?
Leonard: Why would-- Yes! To accommodate Sheldon! And what-what about this-this thing? Why is it here? I'll tell you why. Because it was here when I moved in, and, for no earthly reason, he forbade me to touch it.
Amy: Well, if you don't like it, get rid of it. Put it in the closet.
Leonard: You know what, I will. [Leonard tries to move the helix structure. Lots of little beads fall off and come crashing to the floor]
Raj: I bet that's the reason.

Quote from the episode The Change Constant

Leonard: Okay, you need to focus on the positive. You won a Nobel Prize. I slapped Sheldon. A lot of dreams came true today.

Quote from the episode The Change Constant

Raj: Hey, is Penny here?
Leonard: No. Why?
Raj: I wanted to show her my latest creation. I give you Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.
Leonard: Wow. Amy, you look amazing.
Amy: Thank you. Sheldon, what do you think?
Sheldon: I like you better the way you were.
Raj: But she looks beautiful! Classic lines, colors that complement her skin tone, and hair that goes from "office" to "on the town" in minutes.
Sheldon: I don't care. Put it back.
Amy: I like the way I look.
Sheldon: Well, I don't! [Sheldon storms out]
Leonard: My fault. I was out of Earl Grey.

Quote from the episode The Change Constant

Raj: Was it your left hand or your right hand?
Leonard: Right. Spit actually flew out of his mouth.

Quote from the episode The Change Constant

Penny: Oh, wait. Hang on. When you're old, you are gonna want a record of this.
Leonard: Oh, oh, yeah. Do it in slo-mo. I want to see his cheeks ripple.

Quote from the episode The Change Constant

Penny: Fine. Don't miss.
Leonard: It's not a volleyball. I can handle it.

Quote from the episode The Change Constant

Penny: Well should we wake him up?
Leonard: Well, he did say if he fell asleep, we were allowed to slap him awake.
Penny: Oh, boy.
Leonard: Wait a minute. Why do you get to do it?
Penny: 'Cause I called it.
Leonard: Well, you can't just call it. You have to earn it.
Penny: Oh, and you've earned it?
Leonard: No one has earned it more than me. [Amy clears her throat] You have your whole life to smack him around. This is my time.

Quote from the episode The Change Constant

Amy: Yeah, we're gonna need more coffee.
Penny: Yep, I'm with you. Leonard, coffee?
Leonard: Black and strong, like Luke Cage.
Penny: I'm too tired to even be disturbed by that.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Conclusion

Sheldon: Well, if you want to see something really interesting, I could show you my work, which is being talked about for a Nobel Prize.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, well, I'd love to see it later, but right now, I'm spending time with my son.
Leonard: Ha! I knew there was a "but"- Wait, what?

Quote from the episode The Maternal Conclusion

Leonard: And this is a high-pulse laser with a BBO crystal. It's pretty cool. It emits photons in discrete bursts.
Beverly Hofstadter: Huh. Very impressive.
Leonard: But?
Beverly Hofstadter: But what, dear?
Leonard: Oh, I don't know. It's just, usually there's a "but" followed by something that makes me feel bad.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Conclusion

Penny: Wow, she's being really nice.
Leonard: Yeah, clearly, one of us is dying. Come on, her.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Conclusion

Penny: Or you accomplished something great, and she's genuinely proud.
Leonard: [taking Penny's wine glass] Yeah, all right, you've had enough.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Conclusion

Leonard: Hey, on a completely unrelated note, um, you know, if you'd rather stay at a hotel, we wouldn't be offended.
Beverly Hofstadter: Actually, I've been looking forward to staying with you.
Leonard: Really? It's just, normally, you stay at a hotel.
Beverly Hofstadter: Would you like me to stay at a hotel?
Leonard: No, no, no. I invited you to stay with us.
Beverly Hofstadter: And I accepted, so everyone is happy.
Leonard: Yep. I'm happy, you're happy everyone's happy.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Conclusion

Amy: Are you really not gonna pick up your mother?
Leonard: No. It's fine, she likes to take a cab or a shuttle. That way she can meet people.
Amy: Well, that's kind of nice.
Leonard: Yeah, she always says that a stranger is just a person whose emotional weak point you haven't found yet.
Sheldon: Your mom is the best.

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