Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 4 of 71

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Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: Good morning, gentlemen.
Leonard: Hey.
Raj: Good morning. Is there some new kind of casual Friday I don't know about?
Leonard: No, he lives here now.
Howard: Really? Why?
Leonard: Well, since he won't take the bus and he's too evolved to drive, he decided it would be easier to just sleep in his office and shower in the radiation lab until I'm finished with my experiment.
Raj: But you finished your experiment a week ago.
Leonard: Yep.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Penny: Sheldon, you know that we care about you.
Howard: And it's because we care about you that we've decided we have to speak up.
Penny: You're hurting the people around you, sweetie.
Leonard: So we made you an appointment, and we want you to keep it.
Sheldon: Department of Motor Vehicles new driver handbook? But I don't have a problem.
Leonard: Sheldon, you need to learn how to drive.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Howard: This madness has to stop.
Leonard: Penny's taking you to the DMV, I'm going to bed.
Sheldon: Why Penny?
Leonard: Because rock breaks scissors. Goodnight.

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Leonard: Except now if I eat paste, it's because I want to, not because Craig Schultz is making me.
Amy: Hey, can I ask you a question?
Leonard: Is it, "Where was the teacher?" She was in the bathroom smoking, that's where.
Amy: It wasn't, but I'm glad to see you've moved on.

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Leonard: Okay, I think it's ready.
Amy: Should we put on safety goggles?
Leonard: Well, the funnest fun is the safest fun, so yes.

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Raj: You guys do anything fun after dinner?
Leonard: Well, actually Amy came back over and we hung out. Did you know that we're both spelling bee champs? We stayed up for hours trying to stump each other.
Raj: Who won?
Leonard: Oh, she thought she had me with "appoggiatura" but I shut that down expeditiously. E-X-P-E-D-I-T-I-O-U-S-L-Y. Expeditiously.

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Leonard: What are you doing?
Penny: Making a boat. When I was a kid, my dad showed me how.
Leonard: Boy, you'll do anything to avoid reading.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Leonard: Hey Penny.
Penny: Busy.
Leonard: Yeah, I see that. Shouldn't you be at work?
Penny: I don't work on Mondays.
Leonard: It's Thursday.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Sheldon: Why did you lie to me?
Leonard: I don't know. It just seemed funny at first and then the longer it went on, funnier it got.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Leonard: Look, this is your wedding, just pick whoever you want. You don't need to worry about anyone else but yourself. You've kind of been training for this your whole life.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Howard: You're still working on Sheldon's dumb brain teaser?
Leonard: Oh, my God, Dr. Purple's a woman! Of course! Oh, that feels so good.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Leonard: Did Sheldon and Amy give you guys that puzzle, too?
Howard: Yeah. Is it just me or have they been acting strange?
Leonard: I don't think they're acting.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Sheldon: Leonard, quick. I need you to get me to Arcadia within the hour. The train store's having a sale.
Leonard: Why can't Amy drive you?
Sheldon: Because of the tradition that I cannot see Amy on the day of the train store sale.
Leonard: Please, please see a doctor.

Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation

Howard: What's with the T-shirt? You working at the Apple store now?
Leonard: No, it's just something I threw on.
Howard: I know all your shirts. That's not one of them. You were pretending to work at the Genius Bar to pick up women, weren't you?
Leonard: Yeah. Turns out, they guard the iPods, but they don't guard the shirts.
Howard: So, how'd it go?
Leonard: It was going well. I was showing this super hot girl how to boot up in Safe Mode. The manager got suspicious, and, well, long story short, they really do have a little jail in the mall.

Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation

Leonard: What are you working on?
Sheldon: I'm removing my digital footprint from the Internet so Amy Farrah Fowler can't find me and compel me to meet her mother.
Leonard: Ah, you're going off the grid.
Sheldon: Exactly.
Leonard: The old Unabomber approach. Kudos.

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