Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 40 of 82

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Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Amy: I guess I should have known what I was getting myself into.
Leonard: Don't beat yourself up. You've never lived with anyone before.
Amy: That's true.
Leonard: And you're starting out with Sheldon Cooper. That's like getting your first pet and having it be- I don't know. What's a kind of pet that ruins your life?

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Amy: He put a sign up in the bathroom that says, "Number of days without Amy's hair on the soap."
Leonard: Yeah, my record was six.

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Amy: Maybe I should just give in to his stupid bathroom schedule.
Leonard: No, don't do that.
Amy: But you did.
Leonard: Exactly! Learn from my mistakes! No matter where I am at 7:18 A.M., there better be a toilet nearby.

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Leonard: Look, how can you stop now? That's like walking out of Pinocchio right before he becomes a real boy.

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Sheldon: Oh, and also, I am willing to forgo the bathroom schedule.
Penny: Oh.
Leonard: Really? Why does she get that?! We never got that!
Penny: Do you want him back?
Leonard: I'm very happy for you.

Quote from the episode The Fetal Kick Catalyst

Penny: Leonard, it's sweet you're excited about this, but it'll be a miracle if one person asks for my autograph.
Leonard: Are you kidding? I once paid $20 for Theo Sassler's signature.
Penny: Who's that?
Leonard: Oh, I don't even know. I just liked his name. Theo Sassler!

Quote from the episode The Stockholm Syndrome

Penny: Leonard, I can't go home. I have to be there for Amy.
Leonard: Yeah. I was thinking that, too. As angry as I am at Sheldon, I still want to see him win that medal.
Penny: It's so strange. No matter how thoughtless and selfish he is, I still love him.
Leonard: If you think about it, he has kind of been our practice kid.
Penny: Like when you make pancakes and the first one comes out a little wonky?
Leonard: The university prefers "quirky."

Quote from the episode The Stockholm Syndrome

Sheldon: Well done. You know, you're proving to be an invaluable part of my entourage.
Leonard: Cool.

Quote from the episode The Change Constant

Leonard: I'm done enabling him. Like, this is his spot and-and the thermostat has to be set to his comfort level, even though he doesn't even live here anymore and I'm always chilly.
Raj: Is that why you wear a hoodie all the time?
Leonard: Why would-- Yes! To accommodate Sheldon! And what-what about this-this thing? Why is it here? I'll tell you why. Because it was here when I moved in, and, for no earthly reason, he forbade me to touch it.
Amy: Well, if you don't like it, get rid of it. Put it in the closet.
Leonard: You know what, I will. [Leonard tries to move the helix structure. Lots of little beads fall off and come crashing to the floor]
Raj: I bet that's the reason.

Quote from the episode The Decision Reverberation

Leonard: I think I would've been okay if we weren't sitting so close.
Penny: Well, then, why did we sit so close?
Leonard: Sheldon said, "Are these seats good for everyone?" What was I supposed to do, say no, like a maniac?

Quote from the episode The Decision Reverberation

Leonard: Well, I-I didn't quit. I said I was going to. I walked out the door and started crying. You know, "Oh, my, God, oh, my God, oh, my God, what'd I do?" And then he called me back in.
Penny: Then he changed his mind?
Leonard: He did not.
Penny: I'm really confused about how to react to this story.
Leonard: President Siebert didn't want to lose me. Even though they couldn't make me a lead investigator on a plasma team, there was an opening for a co-lead on a photon entanglement team. How cool is that?
Penny: You're gonna have to tell me.
Leonard: It's really cool.
Penny: Yay! Oh, I am so happy for you.
Leonard: I almost got what I wanted, and it never would have happened if you hadn't almost believed in me.

Quote from the episode The Geology Elevation

Leonard: You know, I do understand what you're feeling. My brother and sister's accomplishments have always been held over my head.
Sheldon: How did you deal with it?
Leonard: I wet the bed until college, but I don't think that's a quality fix.

Quote from the episode The Citation Negation

Leonard: Well, I am shocked, Sheldon, because I totally believed that the woman you reported for being stingy with the peas couldn't keep her hands off you.

Quote from the episode The Decision Reverberation

Penny: Let's celebrate. What do you want to do?
Leonard: Oh, please don't make me decide another thing.
Penny: Hey, you want to go to SoulCycle with me?
Leonard: Give me a minute, I'll think of something.

Quote from the episode The Geology Elevation

Amy: What happened?
Sheldon: I tried to let go of anger and threw a rock into my foot!
Leonard: Then he got more angry and kicked the rock with his other foot.
Penny: Wha--? And what happened to you?
Leonard: Oh, I laughed so hard, I burst a blood vessel in my nose.

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