Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 44 of 65

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Quote from the episode The Friendship Turbulence

Penny: It's just so humiliating.
Leonard: "So humiliating?" Am I driving you to the Cheesecake factory or - I'm sorry, I'll stop. I'll stop.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Leonard: Give me the phone.
Sheldon: But I thought you wanted to cancel?
Leonard: I can't because if I don't show up she'll still be expecting you.
Sheldon: Why would she be expecting me?
Leonard: Stop asking me all these questions, I need to take another shower.

Quote from the episode The Speckerman Recurrence

Leonard: You know what? I am tired of living in fear of this guy. I'm gonna go see him and finally say all the things I should have said in high school. You know, "Pick on someone your own size. You did not have sex with my mother. And yes, I do know why I'm hitting myself."

Quote from the episode The Retraction Reaction

Leonard: Look, I was just speaking the truth. We're scientists. Isn't that what we're supposed to do?
Sheldon: Oh, what would you know about the truth? You thought Phantom Menace was "not half bad."
Leonard: I told you that in confidence!

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Penny: So are the rest of the guys meeting us here?
Leonard: Oh, yeah, no. Turns out that Raj and Howard had to work, and Sheldon had a colonoscopy and he hasn't quite bounced back yet.
Penny: Ooh, my uncle just had a colonoscopy.
Leonard: You're kidding. Well, then, that's something we have in common.
Penny: How?
Leonard: We both have people in our lives who ... want to nip intestinal polyps in the bud.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Fluctuation

Penny: I bet Jennifer gets a promotion out of this, which is so unfair because I work twice as hard as she does.
Raj: Don't worry, Jerry won't be fooled by that type of behavior.
Leonard: Jerry?
Raj: It didn't work for Randy, it didn't work for Tina, it sure as hell isn't gonna work for Jennifer.
Penny: Well, I hope not. I just hate when people play those kinds of games.
Leonard: Tina?
Raj: With your sales record, you have nothing to worry about.
Penny: Mm.
Leonard: I went to your office Christmas party?

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Penny: Okay, well, you know, it's just me. I'm still getting over this break-up with Kurt, and this thing with Doug would be just rebound sex.
Leonard: Ugh, don't get me started on rebound sex.
Penny: It's just, it's my pattern. I break up, then I find some cute guy, and then it's just thirty six meaningless of ... well, you know.
Leonard: I'm not sure that I do. Um, is that one thirty-six hour experience, or is it thirty six hours spread out over say, one ... glorious summer.
Penny: No, it's usually over a weekend, and trust me, you do not feel good after it.
Leonard: Well, chafing, right?
Penny: Emotionally.
Leonard: Of course, yeah, emotional chafing.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Penny: Are you sure you don't want to go to the emergency room?
Leonard: No, no, I'm okay, it's stopped bleeding.
Penny: I know, but you did throw up. Isn't that a sign of a concussion?
Leonard: Yes, but I get car sick too, so...
Penny: Okay.
Leonard: Sorry about your car, by the way.
Penny: Oh, no, it's fine, you got most of it out the window.
Leonard: The poor guy on the bike.

Quote from the episode The Veracity Elasticity

Leonard: Superman's gone. My stormtrooper's gone.
Sheldon: Your Klingon word-of-the-day calendar's gone.
Leonard: I'd say "damn it" in Klingon, but that wasn't until next month.
Sheldon: It's "khoo-vakh".
Leonard: Khoo-vakh!

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Penny: Leonard?
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: Was this supposed to be a date?
Leonard: This? No. No, of course not, this was just you and me hanging out with a bunch of guys who didn't show up, because of work and a colonoscopy.
Penny: Okay, I was just checking.
Leonard: When I take a girl out on a date, and I do, she knows shes been dated. Capital D. Bold face, underline, like Day-ted.
I think I might have a little concussion, I'm going to go lay down for a while. Good night.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Leonard: Sorry.
Priya: For what?
Leonard: I don't know. When I'm in bed with a girl, it's just it's my go to response.

Quote from the episode The Graduation Transmission

Penny: I've never been to New Jersey before.
Leonard: It gets a bad rap from shows like Jersey Shore and Real Housewives.
Penny: So it's not really like that?
Leonard: No, it's like that.

Quote from the episode The Cushion Saturation

Leonard: There's no discernible butt print.
Penny: Oh, come on. (Sits and wiggles around) There, butt print.
Leonard: It's too small and perfect.
Penny: Thank you.
Leonard: You're welcome.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Leonard: I couldn't say that. I would have to say, "You were terrific and I can't wait to hear you sing again."
Sheldon: Why?
Leonard: It's the social protocol. It's what you do when you have a friend who's proud of something they really suck at.
Sheldon: I was not aware of that.
Leonard: Well now you are.

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Leonard: Joke all you want, but you think about it.
Penny: Well, tell you one thing, if I ever do get married, no Klingon invitations.
Leonard: Good luck catching a man with that attitude.

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