Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 5 of 74

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Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Sheldon: Yeah, not to brag, but Amy's last birthday brought my coital tally up to four.
Leonard: Whatever you're doing, it's not bragging.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Penny: When did you pick out our kids' names?
Leonard: Remember that day you moved into the building?
Penny: (chuckles) Yes.
Leonard: A non-creepy amount of time after that.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Penny: I know I'm Ilsa.
Leonard: Wha-? That is crazy. You-you two are totally different.
Penny: How?
Leonard: Well, you- She- Her name's Ilsa.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Penny: It's pretty obvious; blonde, mean, glasses.
Leonard: It doesn't say "glasses."
Penny: Oh, really?
Leonard: But it will, because Ilsa does. And you know who else wears them? Bernadette. And-and that's her, cause it's, it's totally, it's totally her.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Bernadette: So, does Penny know you based a character on her?
Leonard: What character?
Bernadette: Ilsa, the head of the institute. That's clearly Penny.
Leonard: No, it's not.
Bernadette: Really? Confident, ball-busting beauty who's always rolling her eyes at Logan?
Leonard: Trust me, that describes more women than you think.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Bernadette: But this is good so far, really good.
Leonard: Yeah?
Bernadette: Yeah. I have no idea who the killer is.
Leonard: Oh, great. Me, neither.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Leonard: Oh. Oh! I just thought of the murder weapon!
Penny: Swiss army knife?
Leonard: (laughs) No. [after Penny leaves] That's way better.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Penny: So, how's the book coming along?
Leonard: Uh, good. I just wrote the part where the hero, hotshot physicist Logan Dean, arrives at CERN.
Penny: Oh, is he based on you?
Leonard: Uh, kind of. But he can eat dairy products without having to leave the room.
Penny: Yeah, that's smart, because CERN is in Switzerland and there's a lot of cheese there.
Leonard: Hmm. Uh, believe me, that is a plot point later.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Penny: What's that noise?
Leonard: Oh, it's my new keyboard. It looks and sounds like an old-fashioned typewriter. It makes me feel like a real novelist.
Penny: You poured yourself a Scotch.
Leonard: Apple juice.
Penny: Oh.
Leonard: But unsweetened, like Hemingway used to drink.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Penny: Hey, how'd it go?
Leonard: Well, apparently he's not leaving and I have to go get him sparkling water.
Penny: Why are you smiling?
Leonard: I don't know. It just feels right.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Leonard: Hey, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello.
Leonard: Hey. So, your contract provides for a three-day trial period, and I don't think this is working out. So, to put it in legal terms, the party of the first part would like the party of the second part to get out.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Amy: Well, if it gets to be too much, you can always send him back over here.
Leonard: I made a deal with him, and besides, that wouldn't be fair to you.
Amy: Well, actually, I miss him. He's been over there a lot.
Leonard: Well, great. Tell him he can come back.
Amy: I can't. He's thinking of me and my feelings and trying to be respectful.
Leonard: That's what he's doing to me, too, the jerk!

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Leonard: Sheldon!
Sheldon: I'm sorry. Am I being too loud?
Leonard: No, you're being perfect and you know it.
Sheldon: Would you like me to be a less considerate tenant?
Leonard: No. Yes. What? Stop messing with me!

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Leonard: Okay, I'm really uncomfortable with him back in that room.
Penny: Why? He hasn't made a peep all day.
Leonard: You don't get it. All the years that we lived together, he drove me crazy the whole time.
Penny: And now he's not.
Leonard: Exactly. Don't look at me like that. It-it-it means he did it on purpose. It was a choice. That-That's like finding out Godzilla could've had Arby's instead of Tokyo.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Raj: Space is the mirror of the soul. Are we looking beyond, or are we looking within?
Leonard: I'm looking at my shoes. This is making me a little motion sick.

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