Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 5 of 71

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Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation

Sheldon: What makes you chuckle, Leonard?
Leonard: Hmm, recently? Not much.
Sheldon: Is it because of the conflict that arises from your desperate need to pair-bond with a woman, and the apparent collective decision of all womankind to deny you that opportunity?
Leonard: Um, shut up.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Howard: I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it. I always thought I'd be a dad someday.
Raj: Oh, me, too. You're so caring. I've often pictured you guiding a young boy into manhood.
Leonard: There you go, Howard. Sounds like Raj'll have your babies, problem solved.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Howard: Look, I made Sheldon disappear. Ta-da.
Leonard: Next time, you should open with that.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Penny: When did you pick out our kids' names?
Leonard: Remember that day you moved into the building?
Penny: (chuckles) Yes.
Leonard: A non-creepy amount of time after that.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Penny: So, how long have you been working on this?
Leonard: Oh, couple hours. I took a break to try to beat my high score on Mario Kart.
Penny: Well, did you do it?
Leonard: Do you see it on the board?

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Penny: What are you doing?
Leonard: Oh, I've decided to write my own Christmas letter. So I'm gonna make a list of all the cool things we did this year.
Penny: Oh, fun. Can I help?
Leonard: Yes. Can you think of a single cool thing we did this year?

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Penny: Uh, well, both of our jobs are going great.
Leonard: Sure. I mean, my Air Force project got taken away, and you're not crazy about selling pharmaceuticals. I'll just write down "still employed."

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Leonard: Let's look at our pictures; that-that'll jog our memories.
Penny: What is that a picture of?
Leonard: Oh, uh, that's a mole on my back. I wanted to make sure it wasn't growing.
Penny: How'd you get a picture of your own back?
Leonard: Sheldon took it. We're kind of mole buddies.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Penny: Hey, that's a cute picture. Isn't that the day we almost went to the beach?
Leonard: Memorial Day?
Penny: No, that was the day we almost went to the mountains.
Leonard: Oh. That's the great thing about California; you can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach in the same day.
Penny: Yeah.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Leonard: Okay, that's enough. This fight either has to end or get way more entertaining.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Leonard: What you reading?
Penny: Oh, it's your brother's Christmas letter.
Leonard: Ugh. If there's a picture of his wife and his kids and his dogs and his horses all in matching pajamas, I beg you to burn it.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Sheldon: Oh, Stuart, two questions: Do you have the new Aquaman, and do you mind if I use your back room to smoke some meat?
Stuart: Well, since it's you asking, I'm gonna guess that's not a euphemism.
Howard: Why are you smoking meat?
Leonard: And why are you reading Aquaman?
Sheldon: I am trying to make Amy a historically accurate Little House on the Prairie dinner for her birthday, and I want to be able to say I was reading it before it was cool.
Howard: Wow, well, that's actually really sweet.
Leonard: The dinner thing. The Aquaman thing's dumb.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Howard: Yeah, we had a really great talk, and we're gonna start seeing each other again.
Leonard: Oh, congratulations. Have you broken it to the troll yet?
Howard: Did Penny tell you about that?
Leonard: No. Steve Patterson told me.
Howard: The greasy old fat guy in Facilities Management?
Leonard: Yeah.
Howard: How’d he know about it?
Leonard: He's Glacinda the troll.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Penny: Well, I'd ask you guys if you want dessert, but I know Sheldon doesn't eat dessert on Tuesdays. And even if Raj wanted something, he couldn't tell me. Howard won't order anything, but he will come up with some sort of skeevy comment involving the words pie or cheesecake. And Leonard's lactose intolerant, so he can't eat anything here without his intestines blowing up like a balloon animal.
Leonard: Hang on a second. I could have the fruit platter.
Penny: You want the fruit platter?
Leonard: Does it have melon on it?
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: No, I can't eat melon.

Quote from the episode The Decoupling Fluctuation

Sheldon: *Knock, knock, knock* Leonard? *Knock, knock, knock* Leonard? *Knock, knock, knock* Leonard?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Are you sleeping?
Leonard: I was. Now I'm having a nightmare.

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