Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 55 of 82

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Quote from the episode The Weekend Vortex

Raj: Here you go. I've got everything well need for the big game. Low fat turkey jerky, low-carb beer, 100-calorie snack packs.
Leonard: You pick up a Y chromosome while you were there? You might be short one.

Quote from the episode The Werewolf Transformation

Leonard: Please don't let this be Sheldon playing bongos.

Quote from the episode The Werewolf Transformation

Penny: Okay, what just happened?
Leonard: I don't know. Between you playing chess like Bobby Fischer and Sheldon being okay with you in his spot, I'm guessing someone went back in time, stepped on a bug, and changed the course of human events.

Quote from the episode The Werewolf Transformation

Leonard: Hang on, uh, uh, roommate agreement. Ha! Um, no hootenannies, sing-a-longs, or barbershop quartets after 10:00 p.m.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Howard: It's the twenty first century, you can't have a duel.
Leonard: Hang on, Howard. Barry, how good of a shot are you?

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Raj: It was a nice retirement party.
Howard: I guess. Still, it's a shame Professor Rothman was forced to step down.
Leonard: What choice did the university have? He snapped. It happens to theoretical physicists all the time.
Howard: I wonder how long Sheldon's got.
Sheldon: These shrimp are all the same size. There's no the logical order to eat them in. (throws shrimp in the trash)
Leonard: Cant be very long.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Sheldon: Hey! He did that on purpose,
Leonard: No, he didn't. Nothing that's happening here is being done on purpose. Okay, uh, forget one-on-one. Let's try a free throw contest. First person who makes a basket wins the office.
Barry Kripke: Making it too easy there, Hofstadter.
Leonard: No. No, I'm not.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Leonard: On the count of three, both of you bounce the balls as hard as you can. The highest bounce wins the office.
Barry Kripke: Oh, you are going down, Cooper.
Sheldon: I don't think so, Kripke. I've bounced many a rubber ball in my day.
Leonard: All right, that's enough trash talk. One, two, three.

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Penny: So you're saying if I became a famous movie star, we got married, you wouldn't sign a pre-nup?
Leonard: Absolutely not! If I'm gonna be stuck at home with the kids while you're on location cheating on me with Ryan Gosling, then Leonard gots to get paid.

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Leonard: Lobster traps?
Sheldon: Yes. That's how Velma and Scooby smuggled Shaggy into the old lighthouse.

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Raj: Hey, guys, guys, President Siebert is headed this way.
Howard: I wonder what he wants.
Leonard: Doesn't look happy, so I'm guessing he wants to talk to Sheldon.
President Siebert: Dr. Cooper?
Leonard: Told ya.

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Leonard: Joke all you want, but you think about it.
Penny: Well, tell you one thing, if I ever do get married, no Klingon invitations.
Leonard: Good luck catching a man with that attitude.

Quote from the episode The Friendship Contraction

Leonard: You call that a glow stick? *Pulls out a Lightsaber* That is a glow stick!

Quote from the episode The Friendship Contraction

Leonard: Sheldon, Canada is not going to invade California.
Sheldon: Yeah, really? You think those hippies in Washington and Oregon can stop them?

Quote from the episode The Friendship Contraction

Leonard: Oh, great! I get to spend another night in front of our apartment dressed like one of the Village People.
Sheldon: You make that joke every three months and I still don't get it.

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