Leonard: No offense, but shower sex with you is now the second best thing that's happened today.

Sheldon: Can I at least kick down the door?
Leonard: You're welcome to try, but the other day, it took you 15 minutes to get into a FedEx box.

Leonard: Nice to know everything's OK with your plumbing. Err, the building's plumbing.

Leonard: Hypothetically, if I had access to a lieutenant Uhura uniform, would you wear it?
Priya: Leonard, it is a source of great pain to me and my family that my brother has that outfit in his wardrobe.

Leonard: Last night, me wanting to try that stuff out of the Kama Sutra, was that fun for you or kinda racially insensitive?
Priya: Yeah, just because you're in bed with an Indian woman, you think that gives you permission to use crazy positions from an ancient Indian love manual?
Leonard: Hey, if you can find a book called Weird Sex with White Boys, I'd be okay with that.

Priya: It's a little weird your ex-girlfriend hanging out here all the time.
Leonard: I know. I usually never see my ex-girlfriends, unless their hard drives crash.

Leonard: Is it racist that I took you to an Indian restaurant?
Priya: It's okay, I like Indian food.
Leonard: Or as you probably call it back home, food.

Priya: You have such beautiful eyes. Have you ever thought about getting contacts?
Leonard: I tried in the seventh grade. I could never get used to them.
Priya: Oh, that's too bad.
Leonard: Yeah, if I had contacts I would have been the coolest debate club president ever to be stuffed into his own cello case.

Priya: How many Star Trek uniforms do you have?
Leonard: Just two. Everyday and dress.

Priya: You need to cut the cord with Penny.
Leonard: Oh. Okay.
Priya: You don't sound very confident.
Leonard: No, no, I'm confident. It's not like I'm unfamiliar with the get lost conversation. Although, this will be the first time Illl be the one saying it.

Leonard: Oh, hi.
Penny: Hey, you. What happened with the contacts?
Leonard: One of them's upstairs. The other one sort of slipped back into my skull.

Priya: So did you get to talk to Penny?
Leonard: Oh, yes. Indeed, I did.
Priya: And?
Leonard: She completely understood everything I said. Case closed.
Priya: Was she upset?
Leonard: Maybe, but that's not my problem. She's not my girlfriend, you are.
Priya: I hope you weren't cruel to her.
Leonard: Is the autumn cruel for letting the flowers die, or is that just nature's way?

Leonard: Holy crap, are you connected to the Oak Ridge National Laboratory?
Sheldon: Yes. I'm using their Cray Supercomputer to analyze shuffling patterns.
Leonard: Sheldon, that computer is used for national defense. Hacking into it is a federal crime.
Sheldon: Relax, we're not under attack right now.
Leonard: Okay, I'm leaving before the black helicopters get here.

Priya: Why didn't you wear your contacts? Don't you like them?
Leonard: No, no, I do. Its just I knew I was having curry tonight and I only want one part of my body to burn at a time.

Leonard: Well, now hold on, how about this? How about we still hang out, but on the down-low?
Penny: Are you really that kind of guy?
Leonard: No. I actually felt kinda silly just saying on the down-low.