Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 61 of 65

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Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Leonard: Okay, Sheldon, I understand that youre going through a bit of a career crisis, you're searching for some other area where you can feel valuable and productive but I need to tell you something and I want you to listen carefully.
Sheldon: All right.
Leonard: Go away!

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Raj: How about Lasik?
Leonard: You want me to get eye surgery?
Raj: Would you rather go back to the apartment and deal with Sheldon or have a stranger carve out your corneas with a laser beam?
Howard: Well?
Leonard: I'm thinking.

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Sheldon: Is that a dog?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: In the lab?
Leonard: Yes. They're training dogs to operate the centrifuge for when they need dogs to operate the centrifuge for blind scientists, I have to go.

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Howard: There's a Planet of the Apes marathon at the New Art today.
Leonard: Five movies, two hours apiece. It's a start.

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Sheldon: Wait, put this in the bathroom.
Leonard: What for?
Sheldon: I need to measure my fluid intake and output to make sure my kidneys aren't shutting down.
Leonard: I mix pancake batter in this!
Sheldon: No, that measuring cup has always been for urine.
Leonard: You had time to make a label for everything in this apartment, including the label maker, but you didn't have ten seconds to make a label that said "urine cup"?
Sheldon: It's right here on the bottom.
Leonard: Huh, I guess I owe the Betty Crocker Company a letter of apology.

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Leonard: (To Howard and Raj) Sheldon is at the Cheesecake Factory.
Leonard: (On the phone to Penny) Just tell him to go home.
Penny: Well, he won't leave. He says he's afraid he'll pass out on the bus and someone will harvest his organs.
Leonard: (to Howard & Raj) He is paranoid and he has established a nest.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Leonard: I couldn't say that. I would have to say, "You were terrific and I can't wait to hear you sing again."
Sheldon: Why?
Leonard: It's the social protocol. It's what you do when you have a friend who's proud of something they really suck at.
Sheldon: I was not aware of that.
Leonard: Well now you are.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Penny: Thanks. I just wanted to come by and wish you guys luck with your symposium.
Leonard: Oh, well, thank you.
Penny: You know, I got to tell you, a lot of friends would let their friend go alone, but that's not who you are. You are the kind of guy who stands by a friend when ... when he has a symposium to go to.
Leonard: I don't know what to say.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Sheldon: I've been doing some research on addiction, both the biochemical and behavioral aspects, and I think there's a problem with the current version of our lie.
Leonard: What are you talking about? It's fine. She bought it. It's over.
Sheldon: Sadly, it's not. Substance abuse is a lifelong struggle, but beyond that I have realized that the Leo I described would not have agreed to go to rehab.
Leonard: Why not?
Sheldon: Because Leo is a middle child.
Leonard: There is no Leo. How can you say that?
Sheldon: You didn't read the bio, did you? He's not just a middle child, he's the quintessential middle child, from a broken home to boot. Psychologically speaking, the attention he gets by rebelling even to the point of self-destruction is more emotionally valuable than the help he would get at rehab.
Leonard: I've got a solution.
Sheldon: Great, what is it?
Leonard: Get out.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Sheldon: I'm sorry, Leonard. This is Toby Loobenfeld. He's a research assistant in the particle physics lab, but he also minored in theater at MIT.
Toby: It was more of a double major actually. Theater and physics. You can guess which one my bourgeois parents pushed me towards.
Leonard: Yeah, I got it.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Penny: Hey, do you want to come over to my place, have coffee?
Leonard: Sounds good.
Penny: I have a video of me singing last night. Do you want to see it?
Leonard: Gee, why wouldn't I?
Penny: This is even better than you coming to the showcase, because now I get to watch you watch me.
Leonard: Yeah. Funny how things work out.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

(Sheldon repeatedly knocking and saying Leonard's name)
Leonard: Ugh, this would be so much easier if I were a violent sociopath!

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Sheldon: (Knocking) Leonard? Leonard? Leonard?
Leonard: Let it go, Sheldon. The murderer was the first mate whether it made sense to you or not.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Penny: What is this?
Leonard: Oh, careful. That's my original series Battlestar Galactica flight suit.
Penny: Oh, why didn't you wear it on Halloween?
Leonard: Because it's not a costume, it's a flight suit.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Leonard: A joke. Okay. How about this, um, okay, uh there's this farmer, and he has these chickens, but they won't lay any eggs. So, he calls a physicist to help. The physicist then does some calculations, and he says, um, I have a solution, but it only works with spherical chickens in a vacuum.

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