Penny: I really appreciate you letting me stay here tonight.
Leonard: Sure, no problem.
Penny: I know it's kinda weird.
Leonard: True dat.
Penny: True dat?
Leonard: I've gotten a lot more street since we broke up.

Penny: Still mad at me about that?
Leonard: No. No, I understand. I got too intense, you had to back off.
Penny: Thank you.
Leonard: I've gotten a lot better at that, you know. I've dated four different women since we broke up and I didn't tell any of them that I loved them and wanted to have their babies.
Penny: Good for you.

Sheldon: I'll save you the pain and nervousness of waiting for the answer. I agree to be part of your project. Congratulations.
Leonard: Oh, yay for me.

Leonard: We're not wasting time with names right now.
Sheldon: I see. Is that decision open for discussion?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Is the decision to not discuss it open for discussion?
Leonard: No.

Leonard: Look, I'm still happy to drive you to work. Nothing's changed in that regard. We're still roommates. We're still friends.
Sheldon: Except you identified me, your best friend, as a gangrenous limb that needed to be severed from the organism and tossed away. The desperate act of a little man with a big Napoleon complex.
Leonard: You know what? Go put on your bus pants.

Penny: Hi. I'm sorry to bother you guys, but you've got to come take your Sheldon back.
Leonard: What's he doing in your apartment?
Penny: Well, he was moping down in the lobby, so I invited him over and now I regret it.
Leonard: Why do you regret - Uh, never mind, stupid question.

Zack: I don't get it.
Leonard: A dolphin might.

Leonard: Twelve years after high school and I'm still at the nerd table.

Leonard: I suppose there are worse ways to spend a Friday night. None come to mind.

Penny: I can't believe you've never read "Eat, Pray, Love".
Leonard: When she comes out with "Eat, Pray, Runaway from a giant boulder", I'll read it.

Leonard: Would someone please turn off the Sheldon commentary track?

Raj: Guys, I just did a quick calculation. Judging by the size of the theater and this line we may not get in.
(Sheldon wakes up and jumps out of his chair.)
Sheldon: What did he say?
Leonard: Nice going, Raj. I just got him down for his nap.

Leonard: I'm going to pick you up at 8. I'm going to show you a night that you will never forget.
Raj: (Excitedly) Where are we going?

Penny: How long was it?
Leonard: 94 seconds.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz e-lec-tric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will nev-er for-get.