Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 70 of 82

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Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Sheldon: Please don't tell me that your hopeless infatuation is devolving into pointless jealousy.
Leonard: No, I'm not jealous. I'm just a little concerned for her. I didn't like the look of the guy that she was with.
Howard: Because he looked better than you?
Leonard: Yeah. He was kinda dreamy.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Leslie Winkle: Hang on. I'm trying to see how long it takes a five hundred kilowatt oxygen iodine laser to heat up my cup o' noodles.
Leonard: Pfff, I've done it. About two seconds, 2.6 for minestrone.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Leslie Winkle: What sort of experiment would you propose?
Leonard: There is a generally accepted pattern in this area, I would pick you up, take you to a restaurant, then we would see a movie, probably a romantic comedy featuring the talents of Hugh Grant or Sandra Bullock.
Leslie Winkle: Interesting. And would you agree that the primary way we would evaluate either the success or failure of the date would be based on the bio-chemical reaction during the goodnight kiss.
Leonard: Heart rate, pheromones, etc, yes.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Leslie Winkle: Well, why don't we just stipulate that the date goes well and move to the key variable?
Leonard: You mean, kiss you now?
Leslie Winkle: Yes.
Leonard: Can you define the parameters of the kiss?
Leslie Winkle: Closed mouth but romantic. Mint?
Leonard: Thank you. (Takes mint). Shall I count down from three?
Leslie Winkle: No, I think it needs to be spontaneous.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Leonard: Good afternoon, Penny. So, hi, hey. Uh, I was wondering if you had plans for dinner.
Penny: Uh, do you mean dinner tonight?
Leonard: There is an inherent ambiguity in the word dinner. Technically it refers to the largest meal of the day whenever it is consumed, so, to clarify here, by dinner I mean supper.
Penny: Supper?
Leonard: Or dinner. I was thinking six thirty, if you can go, or a different time.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Leonard: By the way, if it should ever come up, you didn't join us because you stuffed yourself with a chicken carbonara sub at Quizznos.
Sheldon: Why would I join you?
Leonard: No reason.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Leonard: I mean, I'm a perfectly nice guy. There's no reason we couldn't go to the restaurant and have a lovely dinner. Maybe take a walk afterwards, talk about things we have in common, "you love pottery? I love pottery!" You know, there's a pause, we both know what's happening. I lean in, we kiss, it's a little tentative at first but then I realise, she's kissing me back, and she's biting my lower lip. You know, she wants me, this thing is going the distance, we're going to have sex! Oh God! Oh, my God!

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Leonard: Give me the phone.
Sheldon: But I thought you wanted to cancel?
Leonard: I can't because if I don't show up she'll still be expecting you.
Sheldon: Why would she be expecting me?
Leonard: Stop asking me all these questions, I need to take another shower.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Penny: Leonard?
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: Was this supposed to be a date?
Leonard: This? No. No, of course not, this was just you and me hanging out with a bunch of guys who didn't show up, because of work and a colonoscopy.
Penny: Okay, I was just checking.
Leonard: When I take a girl out on a date, and I do, she knows she’s been dated. Capital D. Bold face, underline, like Day-ted.
I think I might have a little concussion, I'm going to go lay down for a while. Good night.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Amy: We've been working on a computer interface that can use brain wave patterns to control robotic limbs, but we're having a little trouble localizing the signal from the EEG cap.
Howard: Oh, well, have you thought about adding a phased array of sensors for better localization?
Amy: Actually, that never occurred to me.
Penny: It never occurred to me I would miss the Ewok conversation.
Leonard: Good, because I just bought another one on Amazon.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Penny: Here we go. "Let him have ownership of his choices. Allow him to choose from options that are acceptable to you."
Leonard: All right, I'll give it a try. "I can drive you in two hours or you can take an Uber"
Penny: Good. See, now he feels like he has a choice.
Leonard: Huh. (phone chimes) He's gonna take an Uber.
Penny: Wow, it worked.
Leonard: Unless he bites the driver, yeah.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Penny: So is this how it's gonna be if we have kids? You're just gonna throw me under the bus?
Leonard: If you spoil them the way you do Sheldon, then, yeah.
Penny: Uh, my way was working. Okay? I think you're just upset because there are some things I am better than you at.
Leonard: Well, you can't end a sentence with a preposition, so clearly not grammar.
Penny: If you're so smart, was that a smart thing to say?
Leonard: That depends. Before I said it, was sex tonight still on the table?
Penny: No.
Leonard: Then it's fine.

Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Penny: Oh, my God, you guys look adorable.
Bernadette: Thanks, so do you. Slutty cop?
Penny: No, sexy cop. Slutty cop only came with a skirt and two badges.
Bernadette: And Albert Einstein?
Leonard: Ja, und later zhe's going to arrest me for goinc fashter zan da shpeed of light.
Penny: I thought we said in the car, no accents?
Leonard: Sorry, Officer.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Priya: Oh, Sheldon. You haven't changed a bit, have you?
Sheldon: Why would I change?
Leonard: The hope has been that you'd eventually bend to public opinion.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Leonard: So, what are talking about?
Raj: Uh, my plans with Priya.
Sheldon: He rejected train day.
Leonard: Did you make it clear that it's two different train cars turned into hot dog stands?
Sheldon: Abundantly.
Leonard: I guess he just hates fun.

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