Leonard: Assuming that everything you say is true, how does the biologically superior Homo Novus get to work tomorrow morning?
Sheldon: Homo Novus doesn't know.
Leonard: Well, hang in there. Maybe you'll evolve into something with wings.

Sheldon: Good morning, gentlemen.
Leonard: Hey.
Raj: Good morning. Is there some new kind of casual Friday I don't know about?
Leonard: No, he lives here now.
Howard: Really? Why?
Leonard: Well, since he won't take the bus and he's too evolved to drive, he decided it would be easier to just sleep in his office and shower in the radiation lab until I'm finished with my experiment.
Raj: But you finished your experiment a week ago.
Leonard: Yep.

Penny: Well, In that case, do you mind giving me some advice?
Leonard: About Stuart? Love to.
Penny: He's very shy, how do I make him feel more comfortable around me?
Leonard: Well, uh, first of all, don't underestimate the value of discomfort.
Penny: Really?
Leonard: Well, yeah, Stuart thrives under pressure, that's why he works in a comic book store.

Leonard: Hey Stuart.
Stuart: You busy?
Leonard: Um…
Howard: Classified, Leonard.
Leonard: Yeah, it's a regular Manhattan Project.

Penny: Morning. What’s up?
Leonard: Nothing. We just pulled an all-nighter trying to fix a zero-gravity ... pasta maker.

Howard: (talking on the phone) Yes, sir, I understand classified. We'll keep it all classified, no one has to know but you and me.
Penny: What's classified?
Leonard: Howard's space toilet. I'll tell you later.

Penny: Leonard, could you pass the soy sauce, please?
Leonard: I'm sorry, were you talking to me?
Penny: Yeah, I said Leonard.
Leonard: Yes, you did, didn't you?

Raj: Space is the mirror of the soul. Are we looking beyond, or are we looking within?
Leonard: I'm looking at my shoes. This is making me a little motion sick.

Amy: Well, if it gets to be too much, you can always send him back over here.
Leonard: I made a deal with him, and besides, that wouldn't be fair to you.
Amy: Well, actually, I miss him. He's been over there a lot.
Leonard: Well, great. Tell him he can come back.
Amy: I can't. He's thinking of me and my feelings and trying to be respectful.
Leonard: That's what he's doing to me, too, the jerk!

Penny: So, how's the book coming along?
Leonard: Uh, good. I just wrote the part where the hero, hotshot physicist Logan Dean, arrives at CERN.
Penny: Oh, is he based on you?
Leonard: Uh, kind of. But he can eat dairy products without having to leave the room.
Penny: Yeah, that's smart, because CERN is in Switzerland and there's a lot of cheese there.
Leonard: Hmm. Uh, believe me, that is a plot point later.

Leonard: Oh. Oh! I just thought of the murder weapon!
Penny: Swiss army knife?
Leonard: (laughs) No. [after Penny leaves] That's way better.

Bernadette: But this is good so far, really good.
Leonard: Yeah?
Bernadette: Yeah. I have no idea who the killer is.
Leonard: Oh, great. Me, neither.

Penny: It's pretty obvious; blonde, mean, glasses.
Leonard: It doesn't say "glasses."
Penny: Oh, really?
Leonard: But it will, because Ilsa does. And you know who else wears them? Bernadette. And-and that's her, cause it's, it's totally, it's totally her.

Penny: I know I'm Ilsa.
Leonard: Wha-? That is crazy. You-you two are totally different.
Penny: How?
Leonard: Well, you- She- Her name's Ilsa.

Penny: Translation?
Leonard: Wah, I don't want a table.