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Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 76 of 82

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Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Leonard: Whoa, it's a little early to start dropping J-bombs, don't you think?

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Leonard: Damn, I need my inhaler.
Penny: Just don't smoke.
Leonard: No, I went down the stairs too fast.

Quote from the episode The Propagation Proposition

Penny: And we ran into Zack.
Leonard: Oh. Yeah? How's he doing?
Penny: He got married.
Leonard: Oh. Well, that's nice.
Penny: Yeah, and he sold his company for a fortune and retired.
Leonard: Huh. And you ended up with me, so everybody wins.
Penny: Wait. You're not jealous of Zack, are you?
Leonard: What? Oh, absolutely not. In fact, he should be jealous of me because I have you. And a dungeon with over 30 rooms left unexplored because no one thought to search for secret doors under the wizard's throne.
Penny: Oh. You know, I'd like to go exploring.
Leonard: Really?
Penny: Mm-hmm.
Leonard: Well, I'll get the dice back out.

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

*Penny sneezes*
Leonard: Gesundheit. Or as they say in Switzerland, gesundheit. You getting a cold?
Penny: No, no, it's probably just allergies.
Leonard: Do you want an allergy pill? 'cause I have 'em all. Prescription, nonprescription, foreign, domestic, experimental.
Penny: Do any of them work?
Leonard: Not really. I'm just an enthusiast.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Leonard: I found it, but it's empty.
Penny: Well, it doesn't matter. We're not going to the hospital now.
Leonard: Are you sure? I'd really like to.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Penny: So, how's the book coming along?
Leonard: Uh, good. I just wrote the part where the hero, hotshot physicist Logan Dean, arrives at CERN.
Penny: Oh, is he based on you?
Leonard: Uh, kind of. But he can eat dairy products without having to leave the room.
Penny: Yeah, that's smart, because CERN is in Switzerland and there's a lot of cheese there.
Leonard: Hmm. Uh, believe me, that is a plot point later.

Quote from the episode The Pulled Groin Extrapolation

Leonard: I'm sorry. The bride and groom seem happy.
Amy: Why shouldn't they be? They have a feverish night of socially-approved copulation ahead of them. In some cultures, we'd stand outside of their bedroom cheering as they achieved orgasm.
Leonard: That sounds like a late night, and I have work in the morning, so...

Quote from the episode The Proposal Proposal

Bernadette: Do it! Have a baby, do it!
Howard: Come on, it'd be so cute, our kids playing together? What do you say, why don't you two hit the old mattress and whip up a family?
Penny: Okay, we're not gonna have a baby just to make you guys feel better.
Leonard: Yeah, if we're gonna have a baby it's gonna be when we are ready, or when I'm certain Penny is gonna leave me.
Penny: Exactly.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Penny: Hey, where are you going?
Leonard: Back to the dry cleaner. Look at this. They didn't get the stain out of my Starfleet uniform.
Penny: Well, if you didn't make me wear the green body paint in bed, you wouldn't have to get it dry-cleaned so much.
Leonard: Nah, it's worth it.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Leonard: Oh. Oh! I just thought of the murder weapon!
Penny: Swiss army knife?
Leonard: (laughs) No. [after Penny leaves] That's way better.

Quote from the episode The Comic-Con Conundrum

Leonard: This is us camping out in line for the Avengers panel.
Penny: Oh, you really sleep on the sidewalk, huh?
Leonard: Yeah. It can get chilly, but Raj figured out that if you pee in a bottle and put it in your sleeping bag, it helps keep you warm.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Howard: I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it. I always thought I'd be a dad someday.
Raj: Oh, me, too. You're so caring. I've often pictured you guiding a young boy into manhood.
Leonard: There you go, Howard. Sounds like Raj'll have your babies, problem solved.

Quote from the episode The Friendship Contraction

Raj: Why do you put six sugars in your coffee?
Leonard: Because the cafeteria doesn't offer little packets of methamphetamine.

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Leonard: So, Howard Wolowitz tying the knot. Leaving his crazy bachelor days behind. He was a wild one. Well, I guess we all kind of were. I remember this one time, I was with this girl at the beach. We were in the ocean and we started making out. I know, it was crazy. I wasn't even wearing my Aquasocks.

Quote from the episode The Werewolf Transformation

Leonard: Hang on, uh, uh, roommate agreement. Ha! Um, no hootenannies, sing-a-longs, or barbershop quartets after 10:00 p.m.

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