Sheldon: Oh, thank goodness! I caught you before you left.
Penny: I'm just going for the weekend.
Leonard: Just the weekend. You all heard her say it.

Penny: Someone texting you?
Leonard: Uh, no, I just met my exercise goal for the day.
Penny: By doing the dishes?
Leonard: Hey, you have your goals, I have mine.
Sheldon: Hello.
Amy: What are you two doing?
Leonard: Mm, just finishing a workout.

Sheldon: Well, it's true. The fact is, I feel really bad for Amy.
Leonard: Well, we all do. But just for fun, why do you?

Sheldon: See, sometimes I wish I could invent a time machine, so I could go back and prevent myself from acting so rashly.
Leonard: Or moving forward, you could think before you speak.
Sheldon: I suppose so.
Leonard: But the time machine thing is probably more likely.

Leonard: Professor Thorne?
Kip Thorne: Dr. Hofstadter.
Leonard: Uh, you know my wife, Penny.
Kip Thorne: Sure. Hi.
Penny: Hi.
Leonard: Uh, we wanted to talk to you about Dr. Cooper. Now, before you say no-
Kip Thorne: No.
Leonard: Well, then, after you say no.
Kip Thorne: No.

Penny: Uh-oh. I haven't been to a lot of parties like this, but what does a physics rumble look like?
Leonard: Kind of like angry chickens. Hmm. Or-or-or-or like, uh, when-when puppets fight.

Penny: Okay, well, what about Reiki? It's like massage but without touching.
Sheldon: Then what is it?
Penny: Well, I place my hands near your body and allow the universal energy field to manifest its healing powers. Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but it really works; ask Leonard.
Leonard: It really does.
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: [mouths] No.

Bebe: All right, are you ready?
Leonard: I'm not saying this is why we came, but can I close the lid on him?
Bebe: No. [Leonard tries to hand her money] No.

Leonard: Yeah, we don't have to.
Penny: No! I like it. Let's go.
Leonard: Oh, o-okay. And then after that, we're gonna watch Star Trek: Discovery.
Penny: All right. Well, just a warning, I might be on my phone for most of it.
Leonard: That's fine. Wait, you mean just the Star Trek- Actually, I don't care.

Leonard: Don't take this the wrong way, but that was even more exciting than the sex.
Penny: Don't take this the wrong way, but yes, it was.

Leonard: No, no, I agree with Bernadette. If Pemberton cheated, maybe he shouldn't have a career in the first place. There's plenty of people that didn't plagiarize.
Penny: And a few of us who did, but it's only 'cause The Scarlet Letter was so boring.
Leonard: Aw, I love The Scarlet Letter. That's where I got my taste for bad girls.

Penny: Or you accomplished something great, and she's genuinely proud.
Leonard: [taking Penny's wine glass] Yeah, all right, you've had enough.

Sheldon: Well, if you want to see something really interesting, I could show you my work, which is being talked about for a Nobel Prize.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, well, I'd love to see it later, but right now, I'm spending time with my son.
Leonard: Ha! I knew there was a "but"- Wait, what?

Penny: Fine. Don't miss.
Leonard: It's not a volleyball. I can handle it.

Penny: Oh, wait. Hang on. When you're old, you are gonna want a record of this.
Leonard: Oh, oh, yeah. Do it in slo-mo. I want to see his cheeks ripple.