Mary Cooper Quotes Page 2 of 7

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Quote from the episode The Maternal Combustion

Leonard: Not once did my mother ever give me any love or affection for just being myself. I always had to earn it.
Mary Cooper: Oh, Leonard, I'm sure she loves you very much. In her own cold godless way.

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Mary Cooper: Raj is it? Still having trouble talking to the ladies? Because you know at our church we have a woman who's an amazing healer. Mainly she does crutch and wheelchair people. But I bet she'd be willing to take a shot at whatever third-world demon is running around inside of you.

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary Cooper: You don't hunt, do you?

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Sheldon: I'd like you to meet Oppenheimer, Frisch, Panofsky, Feynman, Weisskopf.
Mary: Yeah, I get it. You got a lot of cats, and you gave 'em cute Jewish names.

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Mary Cooper: Hold your horses, young man. Here in Texas we pray before we eat.
Sheldon: Aw, mom.
Mary Cooper: This is not California, land of the heathen.

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Sheldon: What are they doing here?
Leonard: We came to apologize again and bring you home. So why don't you pack up your stuff, and we'll head back?
Sheldon: No, this is my home now. Thanks to you, my career is over, and I will spend the rest of my life here in Texas trying to teach evolution to creationists.
Mrs. Cooper: You watch your mouth, Shelly. Everyone's entitled to their opinion.
Sheldon: But evolution is not opinion, it's a fact.
Sheldon's mom: And that is your opinion.

Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Mary Cooper: So who else is coming to this shindig?
Amy: Oh, well, the usual gang. Penny's family is coming tomorrow.
Sheldon: Yeah, and Leonards mother's already here.
Mary Cooper: Oh. Beverly. How nice.
Amy: You've met her, right?
Mary Cooper: Yes, I have. (reveals her cross necklace)
Sheldon: Mother, she's an atheist, not a vampire.
Mary Cooper: Either way, let's stop and get some garlic.

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Sheldon: Well then why are you doing it?
Mary: Because I'm not perfect, Shelly. And that man's booty is.

Quote from the episode The Holiday Summation

Amy: Well, uh, Howard and Bernadette had their baby.
Mary Cooper: (gasps) Oh, that's wonderful! Now, have they decided to raise it Jewish or regular?
Sheldon: Welcome to Texas.

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary Cooper: Dr. Gablehouser, are you busy?
Dr. Gablehouser: Well, actually.
Mary Cooper: Sheldon, he's just doodlin'. Get in here.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Sheldon: That's preposterous. I'm not pining for anybody.
Mary Cooper: Oh, lamb chop. We can quibble what to call it, but I think we can both agree it's creepy.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Leonard: I saw what you did there.
Mary Cooper: He thinks he's such a smarty pants. He's no different from any man. You tell him not to do something, that's all they want to do. If I hadn't told my brother Stumpy not to clear out the woodchipper by hand, we'd still be calling him Edward.

Quote from the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Mary Cooper: I thought it was our Indians that had the occasional alcohol problem.
Leonard: We don't say that either. I'll make you list.
Mary Cooper: Oh, that'd be mighty white of you.

Quote from the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Penny: Maybe a little Rodeo Drive.
Mary: Well, I can't spend $12,000 on a handbag. But it's free to look upon those that do with righteous condemnation.

Quote from the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Mary: Oh, it is a hoot and a half. You write your sins on a clay pigeon, they fire 'em up in the air and you pulverize 'em with a twelve gage shotgun full of our Lord's forgiveness.

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