Mary Cooper Quotes Page 3 of 7

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Quote from the episode The Maternal Combustion

Mary Cooper: I know the answer. You're not gonna like it.
Beverly Hofstadter: Try me.
Mary Cooper: When I was pregnant with Shelly, I was driving to church. And I was praying to the Lord to give me a son smarter than his dumb-ass daddy. And I looked over and I saw a Jesus bobblehead in the Subaru next to me, nodding yes.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Sheldon: That's preposterous. I'm not pining for anybody.
Mary Cooper: Oh, lamb chop. We can quibble what to call it, but I think we can both agree it's creepy.

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Sheldon: Well then why are you doing it?
Mary: Because I'm not perfect, Shelly. And that man's booty is.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Combustion

Mary Cooper: I'm so glad that you and I were able to bury the hatchet.
Beverly Hofstadter: Me, too. And I respect your right to your beliefs.
Mary Cooper: And I will pray for you.

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary Cooper: You don't hunt, do you?

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Mrs. Cooper: By His hand we are all
Sheldon: Fed.
Mrs. Cooper: Give us, Lord, our daily
Sheldon: Bread.
Mrs. Cooper: Please know that we are truly
Sheldon: Grateful.
Mrs .Cooper: For every cup and every
Sheldon: Plateful.
Mrs. Cooper: Amen.

Quote from the episode The Holiday Summation

Mary Cooper: Sheldon, if you're trying to prove me wrong, the tighty-whities on your head ain't changing my mind.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Leonard: I saw what you did there.
Mary Cooper: He thinks he's such a smarty pants. He's no different from any man. You tell him not to do something, that's all they want to do. If I hadn't told my brother Stumpy not to clear out the woodchipper by hand, we'd still be calling him Edward.

Quote from the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Mary Cooper: I am not abandoning you, Sheldon. Abandoning you is leaving you in a basket on a church doorstep. I am going to Hollywood and thank a wax Ronald Reagan for his service to our country.

Quote from the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Mary Cooper: I want to thank you for the blessing that is my little Shelly. I also want to thank you for the continued strength not to coldcock him with my bible.

Quote from the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Penny: Mrs Cooper, it smells so good.
Mary Cooper: You take notes, darling. The real way to get a man is with melted cheese and cream of mushroom soup. He'll die at fifty, but his love will be true.

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Gablehauser: Now that's impossible, you must have had him when you were a teenager.
Mary Cooper: Oh, aren't you sweet. His Father's dead.

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary: Leonard, the Lord never gives us more than we can handle. Thankfully, He blessed me with two other children who are dumb as soup.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Momentum

Mary Cooper: Well, honey, don't send it back yet. Your sister's married, and I'm not letting your brother give my grandmother's ring to that whore he's dating.

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary Cooper: I tell you, I love that boy to death but he has been difficult since he fell outta me at the K-Mart.

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