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Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Mary Cooper: You should have called sooner.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Mary Cooper: Shelly, dinner's ready.
Sheldon: Coming.
Mary Cooper: No cats!
Sheldon: Aww.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Mary Cooper: Now, the reason I called Amy over was to find out what kind of person she is. Now, after chatting a bit, I have to say that while she is a perfectly ... unique ... young woman, you two are definitely not suited for each other.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Mary Cooper: Well, putting aside the pig Latin. It's a good a thing you two decided to end the relationship so I didn't have to end it for you.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Leonard: I saw what you did there.
Mary Cooper: He thinks he's such a smarty pants. He's no different from any man. You tell him not to do something, that's all they want to do. If I hadn't told my brother Stumpy not to clear out the woodchipper by hand, we'd still be calling him Edward.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Mary Cooper: Now, when you said on the phone he broke up with a girl, you meant an actual girl? Not something you kids whipped up in a lab?

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Leonard: No, she's real.
Mary Cooper: Did they sin?

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Leonard: But there is something I should prepare you for.
Mary Cooper: Oh, relax, Leonard. I have raised that boy. I have seen him at his best and I've seen him at his worst. There's nothing he can do that will surprise me.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Mary Cooper: Well, well. That's a powerful smell.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Sheldon: That's preposterous. I'm not pining for anybody.
Mary Cooper: Oh, lamb chop. We can quibble what to call it, but I think we can both agree it's creepy.

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary Cooper: Now let's get crackin'. Shower. Shirt. Shoes. And let's shove off.

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary Cooper: Dr. Gablehouser, are you busy?
Dr. Gablehouser: Well, actually.
Mary Cooper: Sheldon, he's just doodlin'. Get in here.

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary Cooper: I remember one summer when he was thirteen, he made a small nuclear reactor in the shed and told everybody he was going to provide free electricity for the whole town. Well, the only problem was he had no - what you call - fissionable materials. Anyway, when he went on the Internets to get some, a man from the government came by and sat him down - real gentle - and told him it's against the law to have yellowcake uranium in a shed.

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Penny: Well what happened?
Mary Cooper: The poor boy had a fit. Locked himself in his room and built a sonic death ray.
Leonard: A death ray?
Mary Cooper: Well, that's what he called it. It didn't even slow down the neighbor kids. It pissed our dog off to no end.

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary Cooper: Now, after a moment of silent meditation, I'm going to end with "In Jesus name". Now you two, don't feel under any obligation to join in. Unless, of course, the Holy Spirit moves you.

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