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Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Leonard: It's the greatest scientific feud of all time. I mean, you can forget about Leibniz and Newton.
Penny: Done.

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Penny: All right, when do you see her next?
Raj: Uh, we're having dinner tonight.
Penny: Okay, put a rubber band around your wrist, and any time you start planning your wedding or naming your children, I want you to stab yourself in the hand with a fork.
Raj: What's the rubber band for?
Penny: To slow the bleeding.

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Sheldon: I am a respected theoretical physicist. I aspire to win a Nobel Prize someday. But nobody's gonna take me seriously if they find out I've been dabbling in geology.
Penny: Well, why not? They're both sciences. And I know because they're classes my high school counselor said "weren't for me."

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Sheldon: Penny, this is serious. My reputation is on the line. What are people gonna think when they see us collaborating?
Penny: I don't know. Poor Bert?

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Sheldon: I'm working with Bert, but I don't want anyone to find out.
Penny: Well, you just told me, so strong start.

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Raj: So Ruchi and I decided to keep things casual.
Penny: (scoffs)
Raj: What? What? I can handle casual.
Penny: (scoffs)
Raj: Oh, why do you keep doing that with your face?
Penny: Because you keep saying stupid things with yours.

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Penny: Okay, this is about science. Why'd you come to me?
Sheldon: Well, because it's also about my reputation. And somehow you manage to hold your head high despite your checkered past.
Penny: Checkered past?
Sheldon: It's a figure of speech referring to how sexually promiscuous you were.
Penny: Really? Well, I've got a figure of speech about how sexually promiscuous you can go be with yourself.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Penny: Auntie Penny's here. Shh. Let's get you changed. Your mommy and daddy say they trust me, but they're full of the same stuff your diaper is.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Bernadette: Penny, everything all right?!
Penny: Hey, all good. Dipped her pacifier in a little bourbon, she conked right out.
Bernadette: I hope you're joking.
Penny: Of course I'm joking. I don't share my bourbon.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Penny: Trust me, you guys have nothing to worry about. You know, back in Nebraska, I raised all our baby pigs right until the day they were slaughtered. So, unless your baby's made of breakfast meat, she's fine.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Leonard: Do you remember when you were a kid and you'd watch Professor Proton?
Sheldon: Of course.
Leonard: Well, did he ever make you-- I don't know-- hate science and the people who do it?
Sheldon: What are you saying?
Leonard: I just think it would be better if your contempt for children wasn't so much in the foreground.
Sheldon: Well, you want me to lie?
Penny: Well, it's not lying. It's acting. Sheldon Cooper may not like kids, but Professor Proton loves them.
Sheldon: Interesting. You know, I hadn't really thought of it that way. It's similar to how I'm afraid of dogs, but my D&D character likes dogs, you know? But he's allergic, so he can't be around them.
Penny: Why don't we have a dog?

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Penny: I don't know what to say. Leonard, do you know what to say?
Leonard: Sheldon, uh, I thought it, uh, it looked like you were having so much fun.
Sheldon: Hey, that's what you used to tell me to say to Penny after one of her terrible plays.
Penny: Hey! (Penny slaps Leonard)
Leonard: Hey!

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Bernadette: Howie, slow down.
Howard: I can't. I'm not allowed to eat for 12 hours before my surgery, and I only got two more minutes.
Leonard: What surgery are you having?
Raj: I'm stress eating. My best friend's getting a vasectomy tomorrow.
Penny: And you're sad you won't be able to bear his child?

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Sheldon: Well, it should be a scientist I respect. You know, someone with a pleasing voice and symmetrical facial features.
Bernadette: Is he talking about himself?
Penny: If he's talking, he's talking about himself.

Quote from the episode The Proton Regeneration

Penny: Uh, no. No, baby. I'm not your mama. Your mama's the nice lady we're gonna go see right now so I can rub this in her face. Do you hear that, suckers? She called me Mama!

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