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Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Sheldon: How did you get in here?
Penny: What do you mean? Leonard's a member.
Sheldon: You told me it was incredibly exclusive.
Leonard: Y-Yeah, look, about that, I lied.
Penny: Hey, wait, you told me it was exclusive, too.
Leonard: Mm-hmm. I avoided him and impressed you, all with the same lie.
Penny: Damn, Hofstadter, didn't think you had it in you.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Penny: What is this picture?
Amy: Oh, it's an MRI of our brains photoshopped to look like they're kissing.
Sheldon: Is it too sexy?
Penny: It's too something.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Howard: You okay?
Bernadette: Uh, I think that was a contraction.
Howard: Is it time? Do we need to go to the hospital?
Bernadette: No. We've been through this before. My water hasn't even broken yet.
Sheldon: Never mind your water. Has your mucus plug popped out?
Bernadette: Ew, no!
Sheldon: Oh, you're right. We probably would've heard that.
Penny: It's not a champagne cork. Although that would be festive.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Raj: Hey! [carrying food] I brought Chinese.
Penny: [pointing to Raj] And I brought Indian.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Penny: You know what? It's fine. Write whatever you want. And by the way, Logan Dean can tell everyone he's five-eight, but he's not fooling anybody!

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Bernadette: Speaking of which, he came by yesterday to show me his book.
Penny: Oh, and-and what did you think?
Bernadette: I liked it.
Penny: Really? The Ilsa character didn't bother you?
Bernadette: Oh, he was exaggerating. You're not really like that.
Penny: Well, I know I'm not like that. The character was based on you.
Bernadette: I don't know what to tell you. When I brought it up with Leonard, he said it was you.
Penny: Well, when I brought it up, he got all squirrelly and left the room. Son of a bitch.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Bernadette: Boy, I don't know how people who aren't on bed rest keep up with the Kardashians.
Penny: Well, sometimes you have to read in your car while your husband thinks you're working late.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Penny: I can't wait to see who the killer is. Is it that Ilsa girl? She seems pretty mean.
Leonard: But adorably mean, like a baby lion?
Penny: No, regular mean, like a regular lion.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Sheldon: I need somewhere to work in the evenings. You have a space you aren't using. Just take a look at my proposal.
Penny: (groans) What is this?
Sheldon: A rental agreement. I will only use the room for work. I won't sleep here, I won't eat your food, I won't even use your bathroom.
Leonard: So you can just walk in any time of the day or night?
Penny: Well, he does that now. At least this way we'll get paid.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Leonard: (on the phone) The answer is still no. You can say we wouldn't know you're here, but we'd know. Because you'd be here! (groans)
Penny: So, who was that?

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Leonard: Uh, Sheldon, what are you doing?
Sheldon: Oh, I was just checking in on my old room to see what you've done with it.
Penny: Why?
Sheldon: Well, I could use a place to work in the evenings, and-
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Well, it's just that there's not a lot of space in our apartment-
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Well, and I feel like Amy's been having-
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: And since you're not-
Penny: No.
Sheldon: It's-
Leonard: No.
Penny: (Sheldon starts to speak) No.
Leonard: That is our room now, and we're gonna turn it into a gym.
Sheldon: Do you really expect me to believe that?
Leonard: No.
Penny: No.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Penny: He knows he doesn't live here anymore, right?
Leonard: Maybe he's experiencing memory loss because he took...
Penny: Flaxitrite!
Leonard: Yeah.

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Leonard: And what are the side effects?
Penny: Oh, shoot, shoot.
Leonard: Mm, remember the mnemonic.
Penny: Ah. GRAVY, yes. G-R-A-V-Y. Okay, gastric distress, redness, anal leakage, vasculitis and yellow eyes.
Leonard: Oh, uh, so close. It's actually yellow discharge.
Penny: Oh, right. That's why we went with "gravy."

Quote from the episode The Separation Triangulation

Leonard: Okay, the next drug is Romatrol.
Penny: Oh, I know this one. We're actually pushing it really hard. It treats mild dermatitis.
Leonard: Uh, correct. And who can it be prescribed to?
Penny: Adults and children who have absolutely, for sure, stopped growing.

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Leonard: Thought you were getting us dinner.
Penny: Sorry. I had to stop at Sheldon's and help him solve string theory.
Amy: What?
Penny: Yeah, turns out the answer's knots.
Leonard: That's cute, but you can't have knots in more than four dimensions.
Penny: Mmm ... you can if you consider them sheets. [chuckling] Good night.

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