Sheldon: This is a nightmare.
Penny: What's with him?
Leonard: He won a Nobel Prize, and his wife looks amazing.
Penny: Oh. Yeah, got it.

Leonard: Sheldon, that was really rude.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. Amy is the one constant I can count on, and now she's changing.
Leonard: It's just a haircut and some clothes.
Sheldon: No, it's the last straw! I can't take any more! [elevator bell dings]
Penny: Can you believe it? They finally fixed the elevator.

Leonard: Penny, can I have a moment alone with my?
Penny: Yep, bye.

Penny: Still, it made him so happy showing you around his lab yesterday.
Beverly Hofstadter: Interesting. Would you say that that made him, uh, much happier than usual, somewhat happier than usual or as happy as usual?
Penny: Hmm, multiple choice. Um, I'm-a go with D: "that's a weird question."

Leonard: It made me really happy. We haven't always had the easiest relationship. But, well, looking back, I guess you were just trying to push me to be the best version of myself.
Beverly Hofstadter: So you would say that my parenting strategies, although difficult at times, directly contributed to your current success?
Penny: Well, I may have had a little something to do with it. I mean, how often do you wear your superhero underwear now?
Leonard: Only Fridays and my birthday.
Penny: Yeah, that was all me. That was me.

Beverly Hofstadter: Really? A photon entanglement team.
Leonard: Yeah, I'm actually the colead.
Penny: Yeah, if you like photons and how they get entangled, he's your co-guy.

Penny: Never? Isn't that usually when you go to the gym?

Amy: Your husband was acting kind of weird today.
Penny: You sure you're not thinking about your husband?
Amy: No. He was acting all sketchy. Almost like he was guilty or something.
Penny: Oh. Well, that doesn't mean anything. I mean, Leonard has resting guilt face.
Yeah, it's- It's like, "What are you guilty about, Leonard?" "Nothing." "Well, then, tell it to your face." [scoffs]

Leonard: Well, if Sheldon and Amy don't want to expose Pemberton, that doesn't mean someone else can't do it for them. They'd never have to know.
Penny: Really? You'd do that?
Leonard: They deserve the Nobel. I'm not gonna let two frauds steal it from them. And if that means getting my hands dirty, so be it.
[Penny laughs]
Leonard: What's so funny?
Penny: Just realized I've never actually seen your hands dirty.

Bernadette: I don't know. If someone's a cheater, they should be held accountable no matter how long ago it was.
Penny: Okay, now you just sound crazy.

Penny: How did it go?
Leonard: Great.
Penny: What, so you got the job?
Leonard: I did not.
Penny: So you quit? Okay, Leonard, I can't move. I just bought a six-month membership to SoulCycle.

Leonard: So, I spent the whole day putting together this proposal, and tomorrow I'm gonna tell President Siebert that this is what I want to do.
Penny: Oh. Well, this looks great.
Leonard: You didn't even open it.
Penny: Well, no, it's got a nice, you know, science-y heft to it.

Penny: Sheldon, if this is what he wants, he should ask for it. I mean, what's the worst that happens? They say no.
Leonard: Well, I'm not gonna let them say no. If they don't want me to quit, this is what it's gonna take.
Penny: Wait, you're gonna quit?
Leonard: Yeah. It's like you said, I have to go after what I want, and if I can't get that at Caltech, there are plenty of other universities in the world.
Penny: W- In the world? I can't even get you to go to the beach, and now you want to move to the world?

Leonard: Hey. I thought about what I want to do tonight, and I didn't take your feelings into consideration at all.
Penny: Great.
Leonard: I want to have sex.
Penny: Wow, sex with your wife. You're really swinging for the fences there, Hofstadter.

Penny: Sweetie, you have got to stand up for yourself. You know, maybe Sheldon's right. Maybe you are that word he said.
Leonard: Satisficer?
Penny: Yeah, that! That's the one. Boy, sounds way more made-up when you say it.