Leonard: I'm kidding, I want you to feel at home here. Decorate it any way that makes you happy.
Penny: Do you really mean that?
Leonard: I really do.
Penny: Great, and just so you know, I'm not getting rid of all your stuff.
Leonard: Yeah? What are you keeping?
Penny: That candle and ... you.
Leonard: What about my robot poster?
Penny: Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh- I can make do with just the candle.

Sheldon: You know, Leonard, the more I think about it, there are a number of mutually owned items in this apartment that you and I should go through. Uh, for example who gets our beloved sword, Longclaw?
Penny: Why don't you keep it?
Sheldon: That seems fair. We did just give you the painting.
Penny: Yeah, I don't need anything around that I can stab myself with.

Sheldon: Oh! Remember when we got this at Comic-Con?
Leonard: Oh, yeah. The Mr. Spock cuckoo clock.
Clock: Live long and prosper. Live long and prosper. Live long and prosper. Live long and prosper.
Sheldon: It's one of a kind.
Penny: So if it breaks there'd be none of it?

Penny: What do you think? Should we go to a hotel?
Leonard: And just leave him here alone?
Penny: Okay, I'll go to a hotel. Text me in the morning if you're still alive.

Leonard: Which is why I got you this Pink Power Ranger. Put it anywhere you like.
Penny: Okay, but you may feel some discomfort.

Penny: Little lower to the left. A little more.
Leonard: Is it good?
Penny: No, still hideous.
Leonard: Well, I'm sure at some point, we won't even notice it's there.
Penny: Yeah, you'd think that, but after a while it starts showing up in your dreams.

Leonard: You're not really considering working for him, are you?
Penny: Well, maybe, I mean, it seems kind of perfect. I have sales experience, and I've been a waitress, so I have restaurant experience, and if he's figuring out my Christmas bonus, we could buy a boat.

Leonard: It's hard to believe Howard's having a kid.
Penny: Yeah.
Amy: Penny, you're the one who introduced him to Bernie.
Penny: How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?

Penny: I don't see the big deal if my brother comes and stays for a while.
Leonard: If you get him a job, he's gonna live here forever!
Penny: He would get his own place.
Leonard: Has he ever had his own place?
Penny: Yes!
Leonard: Did it have a metal toilet next to the bed?
Penny: It still counts.

Raj: I feel bad for Bert.
Sheldon: So he's using his money to attract a mate. Is that any different than me using my intelligence to attract Amy? Or Leonard using his power of groveling to get Penny?
Leonard: It's totally different. Bert's money might run out, but I can beg until the end of time.
Penny: All that, and he's shorter than me.

Penny: What is happening?
Leonard: This is an Euler's Disk. It's a physics toy that demonstrates angular momentum, potential energy, and kinetic energy.
Penny: Aw, look at you watching sports.

Bernadette: You're upset I had a baby?
Penny: No, of course not. I just I didn't think it would make me have all these feelings.
Amy: What feelings?
Penny: Pressure! I mean, she's looking at preschools, she has a minivan, she has a 401(k). Before she talked about it, I just thought that was a race.

Zack: Penny?
Penny: Oh, Zack. Hey.
Zack: What are the odds of running into you here?
Penny: Well, it's a bar, so pretty good.

Penny: Sorry, guys. This club was so great. How could they turn it into a bookstore? I thought we got rid of all those.

Bernadette: It's supposed to be accurate, like, 85% of the time.
Penny: Wow, I find that hard to believe.
Leonard: That a bunch of awkward scientists with no social skills would invent a machine to do it for them?
Penny: I take it back. I believe it.