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Quote from the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Howard: What do you recommend for someone who worked up a man-sized appetite from a morning of weight training and cardio funk?
Penny: A shower.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Amy: So, have you been having any morning sickness?
Bernadette: A little. And it doesn't help that I've got this heightened sense of smell.
Penny: Is that a pregnancy thing?
Bernadette: Yeah, the other day I sniffed out where Howie hid the Girl Scout cookies. No more Tagalongs, my ass.
Penny: But now you'll be able to make your own milk to eat the cookies with.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Penny: Come on, just open it.
Raj: You know, on Game of Thrones, Balon Greyjoy received his son's genitals in a box.
Penny: Well, never hurts to have a spare.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Susan: No more drug talk for the rest of this trip.
Wyatt: I'll drink to that.
Susan: Haven't you had enough?
Wyatt: Penny drinks more than I do.
Penny: Well, I learned from the best.
Wyatt: Aw! (Penny and Wyatt clink their beer bottles together)

Quote from the episode The Speckerman Recurrence

Bernadette: I love this dress. How come I never see you wear it?
Penny: 'cause when I wear it, it's a shirt.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Penny: So, what's new in the world of physics?
Leonard: Nothing.
Penny: Really, nothing?
Leonard: Well, with the exception of string theory, not much has happened since the 1930s. And you can't prove string theory, at best you can say “Hey, look, my idea has an internal logical consistency.”
Penny: Ah. Well I'm sure things will pick up.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Bernadette: What is that?
Raj: Wow, it's an antique sextant. Sailors used these to find their position by the stars.
Amy: What a nice gift for an astrophysicist.
Raj: I know, she's so thoughtful.
Penny: See, she's trying to get you back. Now, that is exactly what I would've gotten you if I had any idea what it is or what you do.

Quote from the episode The Speckerman Recurrence

Amy: When Leonard gets back, Id love to check his serotonin levels. Do you think he'd let me draw a syringe full of his blood?
Penny: Hmm, he's not crazy about needles, but if you get him to go jogging, it'll just pour out of his nose.

Quote from the episode The Cushion Saturation

Penny: Boy, I love him, but he is one serious wackadoodle.

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Penny: Okay, sweetie, I'll take care of you. What do you need?
Sheldon: Well, my mom used to give me sponge baths.
Penny: Okay, ground rules: no sponge baths and definitely no enemas.
Sheldon: Agreed.

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Leonard: Is that your laundry? You only have, like, six things in there.
Penny: Yeah, I didn't have any quarters, so I've been sneaking stuff into other people's loads all day.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Howard: Can't believe we let Kripke use us like that.
Penny: You know, maybe you're all more like the guy who didn't invent the electric car and less like the guy who didn't invent the lightbulb.

Quote from the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Dr. Gallo: Got it.
Penny: Uh, do you have any questions?
Dr. Gallo: Just one. Mm-hmm? When you made your husband pretend to be a patient so you could get access to me, what were you thinking there?
Penny: I just meant a question about the drug.

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Penny: I think about a lot of things. I think about us getting married, I think about us breaking up. Once in a while, I think about how I didn't leave a note on that Mercedes I dinged in the parking lot last month, but then I have a glass of wine and it passes.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Penny: Yeah, no more stories about sex, so, Amy, that brings us to you.
Amy: Well, at work we've been doing some interesting research with neuroprosthetics.
Penny: Neat. I've been rewatching The O.C., so we're all leading productive lives.

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