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Quote from the episode The Extract Obliteration

Leonard: Good morning, sunshine.
Penny: Leonard. It's eight a.m. It's like the middle of the night.

Quote from the episode The Extract Obliteration

Penny: Hey, what's this?
Leonard: Uh, before you open that, um, are you familiar with the story of "The Shoemaker and the Elves"?
Penny: Elves? Come on, Leonard. It's too early for Lord of the Rings.

Quote from the episode The Extract Obliteration

Amy: How'd it go with Leonard?
Penny: I don't think he'll be making that mistake again.
Bernadette: Good.
Penny: So, I know this goes without saying, but if either of you tell Leonard you helped me rewrite this paper, I will beat you both with a bag of oranges.

Quote from the episode The Extract Obliteration

Penny: Now, ladies, we got a B-minus on this paper. I think if we put our heads together, on the next one we could get an A.
Bernadette: Uh, but we got you a B-minus on purpose to make it believable.
Penny: Believable? You saying I'm not smart?
Bernadette: No, no!
Amy: You're smart.
Penny: That's better.

Quote from the episode The Weekend Vortex

Penny: Amy, what's wrong?
Amy: My boyfriend's a jerk.
Penny: Well, I know he didn't cheat on you, so what happened?

Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Leonard: Just eat, Sheldon, you'll feel better.
Sheldon: Why waste food? In Texas when a cow goes dry they don't keep feeding it, they just take her out and shoot her between the eyes.
Penny: I'm confused, did Sheldon stop giving milk?

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Bernadette: Oh, and, Penny, she kinda threw up on your stuffed bear.
Penny: Oh, that's okay.
Leonard: Hey. That's an Ewok and it's mine.
Penny: Yeah, which is why it's okay.

Quote from the episode The Retraction Reaction

Penny: Hey, come on, look, you said a few dumb things on the radio-- what is the worst that could happen?
Leonard: I may get fired.
Penny: Okay, well, even if you did, you could find another job.
Leonard: Yeah, who wouldn't want to hire the physicist who publicly said physics is dead?
Penny: Well, I wouldn't put that under "special skills."
Leonard: I can fix it, I just need to write a retraction I don't believe in. Basically sell out to keep my job.
Penny: Great, I'll leave you to it.

Quote from the episode The Retraction Reaction

Howard: We're here. What's going on?
Penny: Okay. As far as I can see, science is dead, 'cause Leonard killed it. And, uh, I don't know who the Romulans are, but those guys know how to party.

Quote from the episode The Higgs Boson Observation

Amy: Oh, yeah. I'm a man-eater now.
Penny: Okay, for the final touch, this is an eyelash curler. You just place it on your lashes and squeeze it closed.
Amy: Oh, I don't know. Looks like something used by Tinkerbells gynecologist.
Penny: Who I hope for her sake is not Captain Hook.

Quote from the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

Penny: Uh, hey, guys, guys, you will really appreciate this, I read the best science joke on the Internet. Alicia, you won't get it, but it's right up their alley. Anyway, so, this physicist goes into an ice cream parlor every week and orders an ice cream sundae for himself, and then offers one to the empty stool sitting next to him. This goes on for a while until the owner finally asks him what he's doing. The man says, "Well, I'm a physicist, and quantum mechanics teaches us that it is possible for the matter above this stool to spontaneously turn into a beautiful woman who might accept my offer and fall in love with me." The owner then says, "Well, lots of single, beautiful women come in here every day, why don't you buy an ice cream for one of them, and they might fall in love with you?" And the physicist says, "Yeah, but what are the odds of that happening?"
Leonard: It's a little insulting, don't you think?
Penny: How would I know? I'm not even sure I get it.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Penny: Hey, Beverly.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, hello, Penny.
Penny: Uh, Leonard just left. He's gonna be so upset he missed your call.
Beverly Hofstadter: Why?
Penny: Because he ... Yeah, I don't know.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Penny: Uh, well, you know, I'm here for you. What do you want to talk about?
Beverly Hofstadter: Well, last time, we focused on my life. If we're going to be real girlfriends, we should talk about you as well.
Penny: Well, you know, if we're gonna be real girlfriends, we should get a third girl we can trash behind her back.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, so we'd be catty. Oh, I like it. What about Sheldon's fiancee She seems a bit dour.
Penny: Ooh, "dour". Meow!

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Penny: Yeah, that is a good point. I'm really proud of the way you're able to express your feelings.
Sheldon: Thank you. I'm just so angry.
Penny: You know, everyone gets angry. Even mommies and daddies.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Leonard: Fine, I'm mad. I guess I was more upset by our breakup than you.
Penny: That is not true. Of course I was upset.
Leonard: Didn't seem like it. You started dating the first tall, handsome hunk you could find.
Penny: I'm sorry, are you mad that I dated Zack or that you didn't?

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