Sheldon: For your information, I was asking her about the next Star Trek movie.
Penny: I can answer that one: I'll be bored.

Penny: Wow, you really struck a nerve. I've never heard him use the M-word before.

Sheldon: I couldn't sleep.
Penny: I told you those Walking Dead pillows were a bad idea.

Penny: How about we toast your new found freedom?
Sheldon: Normally I refrain from alcohol, but since my cerebral cortex is twiddling its proverbial thumbs. Why not soak it in grape juice that's been predigested by a fungus?
Penny: And you wonder why other children beat you with books. Cheers!

Penny: Next time I get a speeding ticket, here come the waterworks.
Sheldon: Here come the waterworks!
*Sheldon runs off to the bathroom*
Leonard: Aren't you going to ask?
Penny: What is this, my first day?

Leonard: Does it at least pay well?
Penny: Less than I made at the Cheesecake Factory.
Leonard: What does your agent think?
Penny: She's thinking of taking a job at the Cheesecake Factory.

Leonard: Were you seeing other men?
Penny: No.
Leonard: Aren't you going to ask me?
Penny: Come on, really?

Wil Wheaton: Well, I've certainly taken some jobs I've been embarrassed by.
Penny: I wouldn't exactly call Star Trek embarrassing.
Wil Wheaton: I wasn't.
Penny: Me either.

Stuart: How's it going?
Raj: Good. Sheldon's out of town so we can do whatever we want. We even ordered from the Thai place he doesn't like.
Stuart: How is it?
Penny: Disgusting. Do not tell him.

Penny: Got it. Hey, who's the murderer?
Raj: Any question but that.
Penny: Sorry. Hey, who's not the murderer?

Penny: Ooh, I'm going to check the fridge and see if there are any clues inside a beer.

Penny: Well, my beer isn't flat and my rack's not saggy, so far the future's great.

Penny: If you do something cool in science, you might change the world. If I become a famous actress ... I'm not going to tell you why movie stars are the best, they just are.

Sheldon: Oh, I'm fine. It's just some stomach medication for my trip. There's a remote yet distinct possibility that I may end up in South America.
Penny: Remember the old days when I would have said something dumb like "Why?"

Penny: You're a grown man. You should be able to pick whichever Hobbit you want. ... I wish you wouldn't, but one problem at a time.