Penny: Oh, please. When I first met you, you were incapable of touching another human being. Now you're holding hands, going on dates, you even made out with her on a train.
Sheldon: She told you?
Penny: Of course she told me. It's the most interesting thing that's ever happened to her in her entire life.

Penny: Amy, it's Penny. Hey. Just a little heads up, Leonard bought a dining room table. Yeah, Sheldon's breaking up with you.

Penny: That would really piss me off if I didn't have a buzz going on.

Raj: Since you two are going to be around for Valentine's, would you mind watching Cinnamon?
Penny: You have Valentine's plans!? Which came out sounding way more surprised than I meant. Here, let me try that again. You have V..!? See, I can't do it.

Raj: I'd like for at least one of us to see some action, so if you guys happen to have sex it's cool if she stays in the room.
Penny: Same goes for the two of you (Howard & Bernadette) with Amy.

Penny: Don't be surprised if you find five chocolates missing and three gross coconut ones with a bite taken out. Came that way when I bought it.

Penny: Should we take this little party to the bedroom?
Leonard: We don't have to. We have the whole place to ourselves.
Penny: Oh, that's true.
Leonard: In fact, if you want, we can do it right here on Sheldon's spot.
Penny: That is the least sexy thing anyone's ever said to me.

Leonard: They've been in there for like half an hour.
Penny: Yeah, for future reference that's a while.

Penny: That's a whole lot of weird before cofee.

Sheldon: Do not stop refreshing your screens.
*The guys all clicks repeatedly*
Penny: Oh, this is not going to be enough coffee.

Penny: This is really sad, and in a different way than it was twenty minutes ago.

Bernadette: Well, while they're acting like teenagers we could do something grown up.
Amy: Ooh, you mean like a museum?
Penny: Yes, like a museum but anything else!

Amy: I think I have you both beat. Imagine trying to be a grown up when you've never even been with a man.
Penny: Sex is not what makes you a grown up.
Bernadette: Yeah, or you'd be the oldest one here.
Penny: Really? Is that how you talk to your mother?

Penny: I'm serious. Who wants to do all that stuff? Have insurance, pay mortgages, leave one of those little notes when you hit a parked car.
Amy: I told you it was Penny.
Penny: Oh come on. It wasn't me. Anybody could have knocked your mirror off. Or whatever happened.

Penny: Thank you, I needed to hear that. Why can't Leonard understand it?
Sheldon: Because he's not like us, Penny. We're dreamers!
Penny: Yeah, I need to start cracking the window when I leave you in the car.