Leonard: What number were you putting in? You don't know my birthday, do you?
Penny: Yes, I do.
Leonard: Well, what is it?
Penny: May.
Leonard: May what?
Penny: I'm not gonna say your password out loud. That is not secure!

Penny: Oh, look at us. Our last Thanksgiving as husband and wife.

Leonard: I don't understand why we're leaving so early for the movie.
Penny: Oh, I forgot to tell you, we're gonna meet up with Bernadette to spy on Amy and her date.
Leonard: What? I don't want to do that.
Penny: What, and you think I want to see a documentary about aluminum can recycling?
Leonard: This is the movie Big Soda doesn't want you to see.
Penny: No, it's the movie your wife doesn't want you to see.

Leonard: So you're actually okay with invading your friend's privacy?
Penny: You're not curious who she's out with?
Leonard: Not really.
Penny: But you're curious about aluminum cans. You're a weird little guy.

Penny: Come on, Amy, show us the dress.
Amy: Okay, but I'm really stepping outside of my comfort zone here.
Penny: Uh, I don't think any of your comfort zones are showing.

Bernadette: Yeah, it's your third date, maybe you could go more sexy.
Amy: Well, some people think the sexiest organ is the brain.
Penny: No one ever bought me drinks at a bar because my brain just popped out of my shirt.

Amy: I'm gonna go look for other shoes.
Penny: Good luck. I threw out all my tall ones when I married Leonard.

Penny: Don't take advice from a man who threw his shoe at a crow.

Penny: Look at that. I'm in a movie, my shirt stayed on.

Leonard: I'm the one who thought of "Spockumentary."
Penny: And I'm laughing like I did the first time I heard it.

Penny: Okay, does everyone remember the rules? If he's shirtless, one sip. Posing with a pet, two sips. Pet and shirtless, chug like it's your job.

Penny: Oh, he's cute!
Bernadette: Doesn't a teardrop tattoo mean he murdered someone?
Penny: And he's sad about it.

Bernadette: Hey, you know who went out on a date the other night? Stuart.
Penny: Oh, good for him.
Bernadette: I thought so, too.
Penny: So is she, like, homeless, or framing him for a crime?

Bernadette: He's using some kind of dating app on his phone.
Penny: Oh, which one? Maybe we can get Amy to try it.
Bernadette: I don't know. Stuart, can you come in here? He tried to explain it to me.
It shows you pictures of people nearby, you swipe them around, it looks kind of like a game.
Penny: Oh, and if you lose the game, you have to go out with Stuart.

Bernadette: Stuart took that rejection like a pro.
Penny: Well, he knew he was on the breast cam.
Amy: I don't have much practice turning men down. It wasn't so much fun.
Bernadette: Oh, you get used to it. Some guys you have to turn down over and over.
Penny: And sometimes we marry them anyway.