Leonard: This conference is kind of a big thing. The keynote address is being delivered by George Smoot.
Penny: Oh my God, the George Smoot?
Leonard: You've heard of him?
Penny: Of course I haven't.

Penny: So Sheldon's last roommate tried to warn you off?
Leonard: For all I knew, he was the crazy one. He had this really deranged look.
Penny: Well, yeah. He'd been living with Sheldon.

Leonard: Oh, a gift certificate for motorcycle lessons. Very thoughtful.
Penny: Yeah, and I checked. Not letting the bike fall on you while standing still is lesson one.

Penny: Dr. Sheldon Cooper?
Ramona: We're having dinner.
Penny: Sheldon Cooper? Tall, thin, looks a little like a giant praying mantis.
Ramona: He is cute, isn't he?

Leonard: So, where do you want to hang it?
Penny: Are you kidding? We're not hanging it.
Leonard: But it's an expression of our love.
Penny: And our butts. Not hanging it.

Penny: Oh, hello. Hi. I didn't know he was going to point it at me, so don't do drugs and stay in school.
Leonard: They're graduating.
Penny: Okay, bye!

Penny: Sometimes I worry you're going to wake up and leave me for someone more like you.
Leonard: I don't even understand why you're with someone like me. Why would I want to be with someone like me?
Penny: You know what I mean. And maybe the way I've been reacting was me sabotaging this, too.

Penny: Look at that. I'm in a movie, my shirt stayed on.

Dr. Gallo: Got it.
Penny: Uh, do you have any questions?
Dr. Gallo: Just one. Mm-hmm? When you made your husband pretend to be a patient so you could get access to me, what were you thinking there?
Penny: I just meant a question about the drug.

Penny: Hey, so I saw a movie trailer the other day. How could Batman possibly fight Superman? I mean, isn't that dumb?
Bernadette: Maybe he uses Kryptonite.
Emily: Well, Batman's got a lot of money. Maybe he builds a suit that can do everything Superman can do.
Penny: No, no, no, no, no. I've seen that movie. It's called Iron Man.
Leonard: (softly) What is happening?
Howard: I don't know.
Raj: But it's beautiful.

Emily: You know, I know he's a jerk, but I actually feel bad for him.
Penny: And now you see the problem.

Penny: Then I'll return the favor and I won't tell...
Laura: Laura-
Penny: Laura that half the dirty movies you own are animated.

Penny: I have no reason to ... "B" mad at you. Minus.
Leonard: Wow.
Penny: That's right. On my paper. Not yours, mine, you punk-ass elf.

Leonard: Let's see. What's young and fun? Uh, we could go dancing.
Penny: Are you actually gonna dance? Of course.
Penny: Yeah, no one wants to see that. Hey, how about skinny dipping at the beach?
Leonard: No, I don't need any fish nibbling my business.
Penny: Oh, there's a screening of Moulin Rouge! I heard the crowd sings along and stuff.
Leonard: That sounds fun. When's it start?
Penny: Midnight.
Leonard: Midnight, really? You know what? Let's do it.
Penny: Okay, great! Oh, wait. Uh, it's sold out.
Leonard: Oh, thank God.
Penny: Yes!

Bernadette: Sorry, hormones.
Penny: Oh, that's all right. All I heard was "skinny."