Penny: See, that's the kind of passion I didn't think I had. But then I realized I'm passionate about you.
Leonard: Oh, my cute little tushy strikes again.
Penny: No, I'm serious. Look, I've always had these plans. I was gonna be in movies and live this glamorous life, and anything less than that just wasn't worth getting excited about.
Leonard: Those things can still happen.
Penny: Oh, obviously it's gonna happen. Yeah, a psychic at a bachelorette party told me so. Anyway, what I meant was, I shouldn't wait, you know? I've got you, I've got Sheldon, all these wonderful friends. My life is exciting right now.
Leonard: That's a big deal.
Penny: It is, isn't it?
Leonard: So, does that mean we get to do stuff like talk about cool shows or get dressed up in matching costumes and go to Comic-Con?
Penny: Leonard, I had an epiphany, not a stroke.

Sheldon: Did you also have a dog? Because I found what appears to be a battery-operated chew toy.
Penny: Party's over. Party's over.

Leonard: You know we could throw a dinner party too. Maybe even ask everyone to get dressed up.
Penny: Sure. Just when you say dressed up, you mean nice clothes, right? Not like capes and tights and crap
Leonard: Yes. Although...
Penny: No.

Raj: Thanks again for letting me crash girls' night.
Penny: Are you kidding? You brought fancy wine and made fondue. I've slept with guys for less.
It's a joke. Based on real events.

Leonard: Well, this time it's going to be different. Because I am like a romance ninja. You don't see it coming and then, bam, romance. Watch out! Hearts, kisses, love, ooh-ya!
Penny: You know, sometimes I think I've made you so much cooler than you used to be, and then you go and do something like that.

Sheldon: I suppose there's no choice but to face the crying, angry accusations, and the high pitch wails of despair.
Penny: Yeah and who knows how Amy will react.

Leonard: I'm not going anywhere. Penny and I are very happy living together. Isn't that right?
Penny: It's like the happiness won't ever leave the apartment.

Leonard: I swear, that man is the most egotistical, insufferable human being I have ever met.
Penny: Yeah, but you two make such a cute couple. Like Bert and Ernie. You guys even teach me stuff about words and numbers.

Penny: My point is, as much as I want to live with you, I can't do it knowing how much Sheldon needs you.
Leonard: Please, the only thing he needs me for is to be his whipping boy, his, his stooge, his doormat.
Penny: Well, you know what they say, if it ain't broke...

Leonard: Oh, could you clear off a shelf for me in the bathroom? I take a lot of medicine.
Penny: Oh, please let some of it be Xanax.

Penny: I love him. This is just happening too fast.
Sheldon: You think this is fast? It's just a matter of time before I see Amy's leg stubble in my shower.
Penny: Yeah, and I've seen those legs. You might want to get some Drano.

Leonard: Is my coitus whimsically inventive?
Penny: That is what I write on the bathroom walls. For a whimsically inventive time, call Leonard Hofstadter.
Leonard: I know you're joking, but I'd be okay with that.

Penny: Oh, this is the best. You have booze with breakfast on a Tuesday, you got a problem. You do it on the weekend, you got brunch.

Stuart: Well, uh, let's see. You've got your basic clean-cut good guys, Superman, Spider-Man, Captain America. Then you have your darker anti-heroes, your Batman, your Wolverine, Punisher.
Amy: Ooh, I do love a bad boy.
Penny: As evidenced by your boyfriend and his fear of hamsters.

Bernadette: Well, what if the Hulk picked up Thor while Thor is holding the hammer?
Amy: Yeah?
Bernadette: Then by the transitive property of picking things up, Hulk picked up the hammer.
Amy: No. Hulk picked up Thor, Thor picked up the hammer.
Penny: Okay, hang on. If I go to a bar and pick up a guy, and he picks up a girl, and then we all leave together, did I pick up the girl?
Amy: Did that ever happen?
Penny: Hey, are we talking about me or are we talking about Thor?