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Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Leonard: Well, Mrs. Latham said she was seriously considering donating money so we could get a cryogenic centrifugal pump.
Sheldon: Oh, wow!
Howard: Yes!
Leonard: Then she stuck her tongue down my throat.
Sheldon: Why?
Penny: Okay, we can't keep explaining everything. Read that book we got you.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Stuart: Well, uh, let's see. You've got your basic clean-cut good guys, Superman, Spider-Man, Captain America. Then you have your darker anti-heroes, your Batman, your Wolverine, Punisher.
Amy: Ooh, I do love a bad boy.
Penny: As evidenced by your boyfriend and his fear of hamsters.

Quote from the episode The Extract Obliteration

Penny: I have no reason to ... "B" mad at you. Minus.
Leonard: Wow.
Penny: That's right. On my paper. Not yours, mine, you punk-ass elf.

Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Howard: Are you telling us that old lady wanted to have sex with you in exchange for giving your department millions of dollars?
Leonard: I think so.
Howard: You lucky duck.
Penny: You're really a broken toy, aren't you?

Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Leonard: Just eat, Sheldon, you'll feel better.
Sheldon: Why waste food? In Texas when a cow goes dry they don't keep feeding it, they just take her out and shoot her between the eyes.
Penny: I'm confused, did Sheldon stop giving milk?

Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Sheldon: I'm so proud of you! You sold yourself out like a common streetwalker!
Leonard: No, I didn't do it for the money.
Sheldon: She stiffed you?
Penny: I believe that's what your roommate did to her.
Sheldon: What?
Penny: Again, read the book we gave you.

Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Leonard: Well, what are you going to do, Sheldon, give up?
Sheldon: Yes. That's what a rational person does when his entire life's work is invalidated by a post-pubescent Asian wunderkind. He ceases his fruitless efforts, he donates his body to scientific research, and he waits to die.
Penny: You know, I'm confused again. Is he waiting, or do we get to shoot him between the eyes?

Quote from the episode The Allowance Evaporation

Penny: Okay, I want in. Ten bucks says I'll lose interest before that thing stops spinning.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Bernadette: Well, what if the Hulk picked up Thor while Thor is holding the hammer?
Amy: Yeah?
Bernadette: Then by the transitive property of picking things up, Hulk picked up the hammer.
Amy: No. Hulk picked up Thor, Thor picked up the hammer.
Penny: Okay, hang on. If I go to a bar and pick up a guy, and he picks up a girl, and then we all leave together, did I pick up the girl?
Amy: Did that ever happen?
Penny: Hey, are we talking about me or are we talking about Thor?

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Sheldon: What if living together kills the romance?
Penny: Okay, you guys had sex one whole time. Nothing can put out a fire like that.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Penny: So then during the afternoon shift, I spilled an entire tray of drinks on myself.
Leonard: Oh, that's awful.
Penny: Not really. My shirt was soaking wet. I got like the biggest tip of my life.

Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Sheldon: You're holding a Japanese puzzle box, which takes ten precise moves to open. First, locate the panel with the diamond pattern and slide the centre portion one millimetre to the left. Then, on the opposite end of the box, slide the entire panel down two millimetres. You'll hear a slight click.
Penny: Hang on. Sheldon, do you have any emotional attachment to this box?
Sheldon: No, it's a novelty I ordered off the Internet. Now, did you hear the click?
Penny: Not yet. (Puts the box on the ground and stomps on it)There it is.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Penny: Aren't they afraid Hawking will just roll overboard?
Leonard: Uh, he's not gonna be there. He's just sending a team to research his theory.
Penny: Oh, sure. Like when you send me to kill spiders in your bathtub.

Quote from the episode The Solo Oscillation

Penny: Wow, I didn't think anything could top last night's spelling bee, but here comes math.

Quote from the episode The Spoiler Alert Segmentation

Leonard: I swear, that man is the most egotistical, insufferable human being I have ever met.
Penny: Yeah, but you two make such a cute couple. Like Bert and Ernie. You guys even teach me stuff about words and numbers.

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