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Quote from the episode The Thespian Catalyst

Penny: Okay, the whole point of this is to loosen you up a little, so I'm thinking you'll play the role of your mother, and I will bring life to Mr. Spock.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. You'll be Spock?
Penny: It's only logical.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Bernadette: You're gonna make me forget I've been stuck in bed while a baby uses my bladder as a kickball?
Penny: Hey, you had unprotected sex with Howard. You deserve to be miserable.

Quote from the episode The Fermentation Bifurcation

Raj: You can't let this stop you. Almost any scientific advancement can be used for destructive purposes.
Amy: It's true. Even Einstein's theory of relativity was later applied to the development of nuclear weapons.
Penny: E equals MC squared. Yeah. E is for energy, M for mass, and C for the speed of light.
Amy: How do you know that?
Penny: Oh, Leonard mumbles it when he wants sex to last longer.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Sheldon: Penny, reminder, bowling tonight at seven o'clock.
Penny: Oh, right. Bowling.
Leonard: You don't have to come if you don't want to.
Penny: No, no, it's okay. I mean, let's face it, you guys would get creamed without me.
Sheldon: We would indeed. In this particular case, your lack of femininity works to our advantage.
Penny: It's always nice chatting with you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Penny: Thinly veiled contempt.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Penny: Hey.
Sheldon: Hello.
Penny: Haven't seen you in a while. How's it going?
Sheldon: Oh, other than waiting out the exponential growth period of the virulent organisms trooping through my micro-villi into my circulatory system, hunky-dory. (Penny laughs) Did I say something amusing?
Penny: I don't know. Maybe, I have no idea what you said.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Penny: Oh, I love the observatory. They tell you your weight on all the different planets. Yeah, it's always bikini season on Venus.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Sheldon: So your mirth is merely a discharge of nervous energy with no semantic content at all?
Penny: My mirth. Classic.
Sheldon: Is there a station coming up where I can board your giggling train of thought?
Penny: It's not a big deal, Sheldon. It's just, ever since Leonard's been dating Raj's sister, I've had to keep my distance. I don't get to hear all your jibber-jabber.

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Penny: What you doing? Trying to contact your home planet?
Sheldon: I'm practicing my theremin.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Bernadette: (Looking at the painting Amy bought Penny) That is big.
Penny: So big.
Bernadette: And ugly.
Penny: So ugly.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Howard: So I knocked down the bathroom door, picked up my poor unconscious mother, carried her to the car, and drove like a madman to the emergency room.
Bernadette: You're a real hero, Howard.
Howard: No, I did what any son would do.
Penny: Hang on a second, you picked up your mother? Her own legs are barely able to do that.
Howard: I was filled with adrenaline. It happens to be how women lift cars off babies.
Penny: Yeah, I'm saying, it'd be easier to lift a car.

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Sheldon: Well, regardless, she has a distinct advantage in all tavern-based competitions. Pool, beer pong, wet T-shirt contests, they're all out.
Penny: Okay. Just for the record, I have never entered a wet T-shirt contest. I've won a few, but that's just because I spill when I'm drunk, so...

Quote from the episode The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis

Leonard: Oh, a gift certificate for motorcycle lessons. Very thoughtful.
Penny: Yeah, and I checked. Not letting the bike fall on you while standing still is lesson one.

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Sheldon: Oh, Penny, where do I begin? The simple-mindedness of your idea is exceeded only by its crass consumerism and banality.
Penny: And Leonard didn't want to work with you? Imagine that.

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Penny: Oh come on, he's a grown man. He can take care of himself.
Amy: You really believe that?
Penny: Once again, you got me.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Leonard: So, how is she?
Howard: They're running tests. I don't know. It may have been a heart attack or heart-attack-like event.
Penny: What's the difference?
Sheldon: A heart-attack-like event is an event that's like a heart attack.
Penny: Thanks for clearing that up.

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