Penny Quotes Page 56 of 58

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Quote from the episode The Tangerine Factor

Penny: Drop dead, you stupid, self-centered bastard.

Quote from the episode The Tangerine Factor

Leonard: Before you say anything, have you heard of Schrodinger's cat?
Penny: Actually, I've heard far too much about Schrodinger's cat.
Leonard: Good.
*Leonard and Penny kiss!*
Penny: All right, the cat's alive. Let's go to dinner.

Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction

Penny: That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
Howard: (to Leonard) Go ahead. Tell her about your senior prom.

Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction

Penny: You keep him there a little longer, and when you get to the party, I'll point out which of my friends are easy.
Howard: Don't toy with me, woman.
Penny: I got a hot former fat girl with no self-esteem. I got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around, and an alcoholic who's 2 tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat.
Howard: Thy will be done.

Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction

Penny: Hey, guys, some of the other waitresses wanted me to ask you something.
Leonard: It's called trestling.
Howard: It combines the physical strength of arm wrestling with the mental agility of tetris into the ultimate sport.
Penny: Yeah, that's terrific, but what they wanted me to ask you was to cut it the hell out.

Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction

Sheldon: It's actually based on a very sound thesis. His mother published a paper on it.
Penny: What was it called? "I hate my son and that's why he can't have cake"?

Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction

Penny: Ok, here's the deal. You either help me throw Leonard a birthday party or, so help me God, I will go into your bedroom and I will unbag all of your most valuable mint condition comic books. And on one of them, you won't know which, I'll draw a tiny happy face.
Sheldon: You can't do that. If you make a mark on a mint comic book, it's no longer mint.
Penny: Sheldon, do you understand the concept of blackmail?

Quote from the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation

Penny: Okay, first of all, what you call a gap was nearly three feet wide, I slipped and skinned my knee.
Leonard: Are you okay?
Penny: Second of all, the door to the stairwell of the other building was locked, so I had to go down the fire escape which ends on the third floor, forcing me to crawl through the window of a lovely Armenian family, who insisted I stay for lunch.
Leonard: That doesn't sound too bad.
Penny: It was eight courses of lamb, and they tried to fix me up with their son.

Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture

Howard: He compared Sheldon to a disposable feminine cleansing product one might use on a Summer's Eve.
Penny: Yeah and the bag it came in.

Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture

Penny: Tweety Bird tawt he taw a what?
Sheldon: A romulan.
Penny: Yes, he tawt he taw a romulan.

Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Penny: I don't understand, exactly how did he get any friends in the first place?
Howard: We liked Leonard.

Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Leonard: Just eat, Sheldon, you'll feel better.
Sheldon: Why waste food? In Texas when a cow goes dry they don't keep feeding it, they just take her out and shoot her between the eyes.
Penny: I'm confused, did Sheldon stop giving milk?

Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Leonard: Well, what are you going to do, Sheldon, give up?
Sheldon: Yes. That's what a rational person does when his entire life's work is invalidated by a post-pubescent Asian wunderkind. He ceases his fruitless efforts, he donates his body to scientific research, and he waits to die.
Penny: You know, I'm confused again. Is he waiting, or do we get to shoot him between the eyes?

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Leonard: How was Nebraska?
Penny: Oh, better than North Dakota! I guess that joke's only funny in Nebraska.
Sheldon: From the data at hand you really can't draw that conclusion. All you can say with absolute certainty is that that joke is not funny here.
Penny: Boy, it's good to be back.

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Penny: Okay, sweetie, I'll take care of you. What do you need?
Sheldon: Well, my mom used to give me sponge baths.
Penny: Okay, ground rules: no sponge baths and definitely no enemas.
Sheldon: Agreed.

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