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Quote from the episode The Prestidigitation Approximation

Leonard: Okay, uh, how do I put this? Um, are you familiar with Darwin's observation of the finches in the Galapagos Islands?
Penny: Did they make a movie about it?
Leonard: No.
Penny: Then no.

Quote from the episode The Weekend Vortex

Amy: I'm dating Sheldon Cooper
Penny: Yes. On purpose.
Amy: He's handsome, he's lanky, he's brilliant, and his skin has that pale, waxy quality.
Penny: Well, sickly is the new sexy.

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Penny: You know I'm a big believer in breaking bad news to a guy when you're in bed with him. That's how I told my high school boyfriend I slept with his brother. That's how I told his brother the same thing.

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Bernadette: Oh, I don't know. I don't want to manipulate him with sex.
Penny: Oh, sweetie, that's what sex is for.

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Penny: Hey, what are you guys doing here?
Howard: We're grown men, we drink at bars.
Penny: No and no. Everything okay with you and Bernadette?
Howard: Oh yeah, sure.
Penny: You and Amy? Good?
Sheldon: Oh, better than good.
Penny: You know those girls text me every detail of their lives as it happens.

Quote from the episode The Friendship Contraction

Penny: Sheldon, that's not what girlfriends are for. Although you don't use them for what they're for, so what do I know?

Quote from the episode The Beta Test Initiation

Penny: You mean like a beta test?
Leonard: Well, technically, this would be an alpha test. A beta test requires people that weren't involved in the development of the appli-
Penny: Seriously, do I not get credit for knowing beta test?
Leonard: No, absolutely you should.

Quote from the episode The Beta Test Initiation

Penny: Bug report: when a guy asks me to spend some time with him, maybe he plans something a little more interesting than hanging out at home and watching TV.
Leonard: Even Doctor Who?
Penny: Even Doctor Who.

Quote from the episode The Recombination Hypothesis

Penny: You mean, like a date?
Leonard: Not like a date, a date.

Quote from the episode The Speckerman Recurrence

Penny: Did Sheldon change the Wi-Fi password again?
Leonard: Yeah, it's "Penny already eats our food she can pay for Wi-Fi". No spaces.

Quote from the episode The Good Guy Fluctuation

Penny: Leonard, you're looking for a way to sleep with both women and have everybody be happy about it.
Leonard: Now we're getting somewhere.
Penny: What does your gut tell you?
Leonard: Go ask Penny; she'll know what to do.

Quote from the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Penny: That top has paid off in free drinks 10 times what I originally paid for it.
Sheldon: Yes, Penny has a lot of money tied up in promiscuity futures.

Quote from the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Mary: Could the reason you can't find a guy is because you're letting them ride the rollercoaster without buying a ticket?
Penny: Oh, they don't always get to ride the roller coaster. Sometimes they only get to spin the teacups.

Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation

Sheldon: This is banana bread.
Penny: This is a door knob.

Quote from the episode The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification

Penny: (To Howard and Raj) So either one of you weirdos wanna buy my underwear? Only 1400 bucks.

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