Penny: Okay, I'm just gonna go home and make a grilled cheese and window-shop on eHarmony.

Penny: I mean, what have women said to you when they wanted to slow a relationship down?
Leonard: I really like you, but I want to see how things go with Mark?
Penny: Yeah, that'll slow it down.

Leonard: Well, Mrs. Latham said she was seriously considering donating money so we could get a cryogenic centrifugal pump.
Sheldon: Oh, wow!
Howard: Yes!
Leonard: Then she stuck her tongue down my throat.
Sheldon: Why?
Penny: Okay, we can't keep explaining everything. Read that book we got you.

Howard: Are you telling us that old lady wanted to have sex with you in exchange for giving your department millions of dollars?
Leonard: I think so.
Howard: You lucky duck.
Penny: You're really a broken toy, aren't you?

Sheldon: I'm so proud of you! You sold yourself out like a common streetwalker!
Leonard: No, I didn't do it for the money.
Sheldon: She stiffed you?
Penny: I believe that's what your roommate did to her.
Sheldon: What?
Penny: Again, read the book we gave you.

Leonard: I'm sorry. I- I crossed a line. I didn't mean to!
Penny: Who says something like that right in the middle of sex?
Leonard: I don't know, it just came out. People say weird things during sex all the time.
Penny: Okay, well, they sure as hell don't say that.
Leonard: It was the heat of the moment.
Penny: No, the heat of the moment is, ooh, yeah, just like that, not will you marry me?
Leonard: I'm sorry. Just, just give me another chance.
Penny: Why, so you can crawl under the covers and go, hey, baby, want to go look for houses in neighborhoods with good schools?

Leonard: So, who's Stan Lee?
Penny: Um, he was on Star Trek.
Leonard: Nope.
Penny: Star Wars?
Leonard: No.
Penny: Um, uh, Stan Lee, oh, he was in those goofy kung fu movies you love so much?
Leonard: That's Bruce Lee.
Penny: Oh. So, is this Bruce Lee's nerdy brother, Stan?

Penny: We're home.
Leonard: Oh, hey, buddy. How'd it go?
Sheldon: You know very well how it went.
Leonard: Yeah, but we all want to hear it from you.
Sheldon: I was found guilty and fined $533.
Penny: I'm going to write you a check for that. As long as you promise to put it in your drawer and never cash it, like the others.

Sheldon: This is Stan Lee's front door. We were on Stan Lee's curb, then we were on Stan Lee's walk, and now we're at Stan Lee's front door.
Penny: Yup.
Sheldon: Oh, Lord, you just rang Stan Lee's doorbell. At Stan Lee's house. We're about to go in and have milk and cookies with Stan Lee.
Penny: Okay, sweetie, I don't know if we're gonna have cookies, or he's just gonna say hi, or really what's gonna happen, so just let me talk...

Leonard: Who wants the last dumpling?
Penny: Ooh, me.
Sheldon: Penny, a moment. We just had Thai food. In that culture, the last morsel is called the krengjai piece, and it is reserved for the most important and valued member of the group.
Penny: Thank you all for this high honor.

Penny: Okay, now holding sides of hearth in position, lower mantelpiece assembly onto top tabs.
Leonard: Look at that! I built a fireplace with my own two hands.
Penny: You're so butch.
Leonard: Aw, I got a little paper cut.
Penny: Of course you did. Your hands are softer than veal.

Raj: Can we get another bottle of champagne for the table? Don't worry. It's my treat.
Amy: Thanks.
Penny: Wow, you should come to girls' night more often. And not just because if you weren't here, this would be a can of Pabst.

Leonard: Oh, my God. I'm lying in bed with a beautiful woman who can quote Yoda. I love you, Penny.
Penny: Oh. Oh. Thank you.

Sheldon: Penny, reminder, bowling tonight at seven o'clock.
Penny: Oh, right. Bowling.
Leonard: You don't have to come if you don't want to.
Penny: No, no, it's okay. I mean, let's face it, you guys would get creamed without me.
Sheldon: We would indeed. In this particular case, your lack of femininity works to our advantage.
Penny: It's always nice chatting with you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Penny: Thinly veiled contempt.

Leonard: We don't have to talk 'cause there's nothing to talk about. Everything's good.
Penny: Really? So, you didn't get all snarky 'cause I said something nice to a bowl of chilli fries?