Penny: Well, that's not good. You being blindly infatuated with me was the rock we were building this relationship on.

Penny: Hey, what's going on?
Leonard: Baseball.
Penny: Okay, that's not what I meant when I said go outside and play.

Sheldon: Ignore them, Amy. They're just jealous because they'll never have a relationship as good as ours.
Penny: Isn't this when he says "bazooka" or something?

Amy: Well, I just think she wants you to do well and she's worried you won't because you were just a stunningly bad waitress.
Penny: That is not true.
Amy: I'm still waiting on my mini corndogs from two years ago.
Penny: I told you, they'll be right out.

Penny: Well, I'm a people person. People like me. Some of my favorite people are people. I feel like I'm saying people a lot. People people people. Okay, I'm done.
Dan: Sure?
Penny: People. Yes.

Leonard: You feel like driving to Arizona with me?
Penny: I can't. I have that job interview.
Leonard: Oh, right.
Penny: Besides, I don't need six hours of "Your hair is different. Why did you change your hair? I'm holding my breath until your hair grows back."

Leonard: Hey, can you think of a reason why I shouldn't invite Amy to come with me?
Penny: No.
Leonard: Come on, you didn't even try.

Penny: He'll be okay. You taught him well, Padawan.
Sheldon: Good Lord. Padawan is the student, not the teacher.
Penny: Seriously, let him go.

Penny: He can take care of himself. We went over Stranger Danger and gave him that whistle.

Leonard: So, should we talk about setting a date?
Penny: Well, I'd like to choose one that works with my brother's schedule.
Leonard: Right and when would that be?
Penny: Twelve to eighteen months from now, depending on good behavior.

Bernadette: You're not working. How'd you like a job in home healthcare?
Penny: Not a chance.
Bernadette: Please, I'm desperate.
Penny: No.
Bernadette: I'll pay anything you want.
Penny: Okay then, yeah.

Penny: I finally realize I don't need to be famous or have some big career to be happy.
Leonard: Well what do you need?
Penny: You, you stupid Poptart.

Leonard: So is that it? Are we engaged?
Penny: Yeah, I think so.
Leonard: All right.
Penny: What's wrong?
Leonard: I'm not sure. It just feels a little anti-climactic.
Penny: Yeah, it kinda does, doesn't it?

Leonard: So I'm like a bran muffin?
Penny: What? No, that's not what I'm saying.
Leonard: No, that's exactly what you're saying. I'm the boring thing you're choosing because I'm good for you.
Penny: What does it matter? I'm choosing you.
Leonard: It matters a lot. I don't want to be a bran muffin. I want to be a cinnabon, a strawberry pop tart. Something you're excited about, even if it could give you diabetes.
Penny: Sweetie, you can be any pastry you want.

Leonard: Come on. How can you be sad when you're going home with all five foot six of this?
Penny: You think you're five foot six? That's funny.