Penny: "Where No Sheldon Has Gone Before."
Sheldon: It's the story of a young boy who is transported from the ignorant backwoods of East Texas to the 23rd Century, where his genius is not only appreciated, but celebrated.
Penny: KMN.

Penny: Okay, the whole point of this is to loosen you up a little, so I'm thinking you'll play the role of your mother, and I will bring life to Mr. Spock.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. You'll be Spock?
Penny: It's only logical.

Sheldon: I told him his voice was annoying. He didn't want to listen.
Penny: Hey!
Sheldon: You're saying it's not?
Penny: Just ... hey.

Penny: Here, drink this. It might help.
Leonard: What if it doesn't?
Penny: Well, that's why I brought the bottle.

Leonard: No one would talk to me in the halls. They just glared at me. It's like high school all over again.
Penny: Oh, I would totally do high school all over again. But that doesn't help you.

Leonard: I got called in to the administration office.
Penny: Ooh, look at my bad boy getting called to the principal.
Leonard: We don't technically have a principal. There's a standing committee that oversees the budget.
Penny: Ooh, look at my bad boy answering questions nobody asked.

Penny: Hey, Sheldon? Hi. This came for you today. It's from your mom.
Sheldon: Oh, thank you, Penny.
Penny: M-hmm.
Sheldon: Yeah, wait, here. (Hands Penny a dollar bill) For your troubles.
Penny: Oh, boy, a whole dollar. Now, I can quit my paper route.

Alex: Sheldon thinks the approach in this paper might change the way we calculate ferromagnetic hysteresis.
Penny: Oh, it's about time. I hated the old way.

Leonard: Where are we going?
Penny: My limbic system wants to take your pants off.

Sheldon: Congratulations, I see you did your laundry.
Penny: Well, sort of.
Sheldon: How does one sort of-
Penny: I bought new clothes, okay?

Penny: So, what do we got going on tonight, huh? Playing Halo watching Battlestar, drop some Mentos in Diet Coke?
Leonard: You want to watch Battlestar?
Penny: What can I say? I got my geek on, boys.

Penny: I cannot believe they're letting her just use them like that. I mean, anything she wants, they go panting after her like trained dogs. You know that just last week, she had Howard drive all the way to her uncle's house in Orange County to pick up her TV?
Sheldon: You once had Leonard and me get your television from your ex-boyfriend.
Penny: Apples and oranges here, Sheldon. I'm telling you, that girl is a user, ice-skating through the life on her looks, taking advantage of innocent weak-willed men, getting auditions for stupid network shows. It creams my corn.

Leonard: It's okay. We're all here to help.
Sheldon: Yes. And this baby will have plenty of manly role models. Now, I'm certain that whatever Bernadette can't teach him, Penny can.
Leonard: Uh, she can pee into a bottle.
Penny: Mm-hmm. Anything with a neck wider than a nickel.

Sheldon: Well, regardless, she has a distinct advantage in all tavern-based competitions. Pool, beer pong, wet T-shirt contests, they're all out.
Penny: Okay. Just for the record, I have never entered a wet T-shirt contest. I've won a few, but that's just because I spill when I'm drunk, so...

Penny: So, what's new in the world of physics?
Leonard: Nothing.
Penny: Really, nothing?
Leonard: Well, with the exception of string theory, not much has happened since the 1930s. And you can't prove string theory, at best you can say “Hey, look, my idea has an internal logical consistency.”
Penny: Ah. Well I'm sure things will pick up.