Penny: Okay, just to be clear. You are asking me for help because I know something that the brilliant Dr. Sheldon Cooper doesn't.
Sheldon: I suppose that's one way to look at it.
Penny: I think it's the only way to look at it.

Penny: Okay, where is this coming from?
Sheldon: It has been suggested to me that acting techniques could improve my lecturing, at which, if certain tweets and blogs are to be believed, I suck the big one.
Penny: Yeah, I saw those. They were funny. I printed a few out and put 'em on my fridge.

Penny: "Where No Sheldon Has Gone Before."
Sheldon: It's the story of a young boy who is transported from the ignorant backwoods of East Texas to the 23rd Century, where his genius is not only appreciated, but celebrated.
Penny: KMN.

Penny: Okay, the whole point of this is to loosen you up a little, so I'm thinking you'll play the role of your mother, and I will bring life to Mr. Spock.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. You'll be Spock?
Penny: It's only logical.

Penny: Hey, can I stay here tonight?
Leonard: Shh, Sheldon's asleep. What's going on?
Penny: Well, Howard's a complete and total ass, Bernadette's in my bed, and no matter how much you stroke Amy's hair, she bites.

Penny: Sweetie, let me put this in a way you'll understand. From the waist down, my shields are up.

Penny: Okay. So, the usual, with extra spit on Sheldon's hamburger.

Amy: Shame. Since you're my best friend, I thought it would be a good bonding opportunity.
Penny: I'm your best friend?
Amy: Don't you read my blog?
Penny: Oh, don't feel bad. I never read Leonard's, and I used to sleep with him.

Penny: Boy, this is great. I haven't had a vacation in ages.
Sheldon: In order to take a vacation, one first has to work.
Penny: You know, for a smart guy, you really seem to have a hard time grasping the concept, don't piss off the people who handle the things you eat.
Amy: That does seem to be a valid principle.

Bernadette: Can I stay here tonight?
Penny: Yeah. Why, what happened?
Bernadette: Howard's a complete and total ass.
Penny: Oh, yeah, that. Come on in.

Penny: Whatever your secret is, I'm sure it's boring, so I'm not interested.
Leonard: It's not boring at all. You see, in higher order mathematics, there are certain sets of equations that...
Penny: Bored.
Leonard: Satisfied?
Sheldon: Hardly. Consider this unlikely but very plausible scenario. A young woman alone in the big city, her ridiculous dream of becoming an actress lies shattered about her.
Penny: Hey, wait a minute.
Howard: Well, hang on. Let's see where he's going.
Sheldon: Then it hits her. How is she going to survive? I mean, she has no prospects, no marketable skills. And then one day, she meets a group of geniuses and their friend Howard.
Howard: Hey...
Penny: Hang on. Let's see where he's going.

Penny: What you doing? Trying to contact your home planet?
Sheldon: I'm practicing my theremin.

Sheldon: Oh, Penny, where do I begin? The simple-mindedness of your idea is exceeded only by its crass consumerism and banality.
Penny: And Leonard didn't want to work with you? Imagine that.

Penny: Okay, how about this? You know how you're always trying to learn about sarcasm?
Sheldon: No.
Penny: No?
Sheldon: I was being sarcastic.
Penny: Oh. Good for you.

Penny: Okay, these are Uggs. These are Crocs. These are knockoff Manolo Blahniks.
Sheldon: Bored.
Penny: Look, you said it yourself, we have to create a database before you can write an alga-thingy.
Sheldon: Algorithm. You see, Penny, Alan Turing defined an algorithm...
Penny: Bored.