Penny: Read.
Sheldon: *Reading fortune cookie* "Your warm and fun-loving nature delights those around you."
Penny: Nope, try again.

Penny: You know what, maybe I need a break from all of you. Come on, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Where are we going?
Penny: We're going to have Anything Can Happen Thursdays, you're going to tell me all about your science stuff and I'm going to complain about my movie, and we're going to support each other because that's what friends do.
Sheldon: Okay. Because if I had to pick now, I'd probably go with dark matter-
Penny: Shut. Up.

Penny: Come on. Anything can happen. We could push him down the stairs!

Sheldon: What can we do that's fun?
Leonard: What can we do that's different?
Penny: What can we do that's free?

Sheldon: Got it! There's a live action role playing group that meets every Thursday night in Griffith park, and re-enacts battles from Lord of the Rings.
Penny: Okay, tell me more about this calzone idea.

Penny: There's not even a bathroom on set. I have to go to the gas station across the street. I mean, I was dressed like half an ape and still not close to the most disgusting person in there.

Penny: Sheldon, what did we say about being a nicer friend?
Leonard: Thank you.
Penny: Leonard, what did we say about being a gullible weeny?

Leonard: Hey, how about we bring back Anything Can Happen Thursdays?
Penny: That's good. Why'd you guys stop doing that?
Leonard: You made fun of us. Said it was stupid.
Penny: Yeah, sounds like me.

Penny: How about we toast your new found freedom?
Sheldon: Normally I refrain from alcohol, but since my cerebral cortex is twiddling its proverbial thumbs. Why not soak it in grape juice that's been predigested by a fungus?
Penny: And you wonder why other children beat you with books. Cheers!

Sheldon: I couldn't sleep.
Penny: I told you those Walking Dead pillows were a bad idea.

Leonard: Were you seeing other men?
Penny: No.
Leonard: Aren't you going to ask me?
Penny: Come on, really?

Wil Wheaton: Well, I've certainly taken some jobs I've been embarrassed by.
Penny: I wouldn't exactly call Star Trek embarrassing.
Wil Wheaton: I wasn't.
Penny: Me either.

Leonard: Does it at least pay well?
Penny: Less than I made at the Cheesecake Factory.
Leonard: What does your agent think?
Penny: She's thinking of taking a job at the Cheesecake Factory.

Penny: Next time I get a speeding ticket, here come the waterworks.
Sheldon: Here come the waterworks!
*Sheldon runs off to the bathroom*
Leonard: Aren't you going to ask?
Penny: What is this, my first day?

Penny: If you do something cool in science, you might change the world. If I become a famous actress ... I'm not going to tell you why movie stars are the best, they just are.