Zack: Look up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. I forget the rest.
Penny: All right. Let's get this thing over with.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. But in what universe is Wonder Woman blonde?
Howard: Relax. No one's going to be looking at her hair. Ow! I mean, ow.
Zack: Hold on. The costume came with a black wig. Where is it, babe?
Penny: No. I'm not wearing it. It looks stupid.
Zack: Come on. We're trying to win a contest here.
Penny: Forget it. I'm not wearing the wig.
Zack: Penny, there's no I in Justice League.
Howard: Well, actually.
Sheldon: Don't. He's making our case.
Zack: Okay, babe. You're kind of embarrassing me in front of my friends.
Penny: Okay. You know what? I changed my mind. I'm not going.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Did you know the iconic heart shape isn't based on an actual human heart, its based on what a woman's rear end looks like bending over
Penny: So in 8th grade, I was dotting my i's with little asses? That's cool.

Penny: He just didn't really challenge me on an intellectual level.
Bernadette: Couldn't you just fool around with him and then listen to NPR?
Penny: Wouldn't help. Zack couldn't even spell NPR.

*Leonard is kissing Penny, and Penny's dad enters*
Penny: Come on, honey, not in front of my dad.
Penny's dad: Relax, I've seen her do a lot worse with a lot stupider.

Penny: Okay, Sheldon, you don't have to do this because Leonard and I are not-
Leonard: Are you sure you want to include him in this?
Sheldon: Include me in what? Is there a plot afoot? I'll have no truck with plots.
Penny: No, you're right. No, there's no plots, no trucks, no feet.

Penny: All right, time to open bachelor number two.

Penny: You know, sometimes stuff just happens, and there's nothing you can do about it. For example, Lisa Peterson hasn't talked to me since the 11th grade, because no matter how much you apologize, you can't go back and un-dry-hump someone's boyfriend.
Sheldon: I see. You're saying I'm facing Starfleet Academy's unwinnable command scenario, the Kobayashi Maru.
Penny: Exactly. Sometimes you can't win.
Sheldon: Captain Kirk won.
Penny: Kirk cheated.
Sheldon: Impressive that you know that. It's hard to believe I'm actually having this conversation with you.
Penny: Right there with you.

Howard: Would you have opened the door if you knew it was me?
Penny: Not since I found out the teddy bear you gave me had a webcam in it.

Howard: I just have a question. Does Bernadette ever talk about me?
Penny: Oh, absolutely.
Howard: She does?
Penny: Yeah, sure. Just yesterday, she asked, why is Howard hiding under the table?
Howard: She saw that, huh?
Penny: Oh, no, not at first. Right after I pointed it out.

Penny: Hey, while we're on the subject, why did you guys break up anyway?
Howard: Oh, I'd rather not say.
Penny: Howard, if you want my help, I've got to know what happened.
Howard: But it's embarrassing.
Penny: Yeah, that's what I'm counting on.

Howard: Well, you know World of Warcraft?
Penny: Um, the online game? Sure.
Howard: Well, did you know that the characters in the game can have sex with each other?
Penny: Oh, God. I think I see where this is going.
Howard: Her name was Glacinda the Troll. Bernadette walked in on me while we were doing the cyber-nasty under the Bridge of Souls.
Penny: Oh, you're right. That is so embarrassing.
Howard: Would you talk to her?
Penny: Bernadette or the troll?

Penny: Hey, this is a little awkward, but my manager says I can't actually give nachos away. So, just take that [bill] when you're ready.

Penny: Oh Balls!

Leonard: Penny, Steve Wozniak was one of the co-founders of Apple computer. He and Steve Jobs.
Penny: Yeah. I know who he is. I watch Dancing With the Stars.

Penny: What up, Shel-bot?