Penny: Well, my beer isn't flat and my rack's not saggy, so far the future's great.

Penny: Ooh, I'm going to check the fridge and see if there are any clues inside a beer.

Penny: Got it. Hey, who's the murderer?
Raj: Any question but that.
Penny: Sorry. Hey, who's not the murderer?

Stuart: How's it going?
Raj: Good. Sheldon's out of town so we can do whatever we want. We even ordered from the Thai place he doesn't like.
Stuart: How is it?
Penny: Disgusting. Do not tell him.

Sheldon: Oh, I'm fine. It's just some stomach medication for my trip. There's a remote yet distinct possibility that I may end up in South America.
Penny: Remember the old days when I would have said something dumb like "Why?"

Penny: Oh, please. When I first met you, you were incapable of touching another human being. Now you're holding hands, going on dates, you even made out with her on a train.
Sheldon: She told you?
Penny: Of course she told me. It's the most interesting thing that's ever happened to her in her entire life.

Penny: Amy, it's Penny. Hey. Just a little heads up, Leonard bought a dining room table. Yeah, Sheldon's breaking up with you.

Penny: You're a grown man. You should be able to pick whichever Hobbit you want. ... I wish you wouldn't, but one problem at a time.

Leonard: They've been in there for like half an hour.
Penny: Yeah, for future reference that's a while.

Penny: Don't be surprised if you find five chocolates missing and three gross coconut ones with a bite taken out. Came that way when I bought it.

Penny: Should we take this little party to the bedroom?
Leonard: We don't have to. We have the whole place to ourselves.
Penny: Oh, that's true.
Leonard: In fact, if you want, we can do it right here on Sheldon's spot.
Penny: That is the least sexy thing anyone's ever said to me.

Raj: Since you two are going to be around for Valentine's, would you mind watching Cinnamon?
Penny: You have Valentine's plans!? Which came out sounding way more surprised than I meant. Here, let me try that again. You have V..!? See, I can't do it.

Raj: I'd like for at least one of us to see some action, so if you guys happen to have sex it's cool if she stays in the room.
Penny: Same goes for the two of you (Howard & Bernadette) with Amy.

Penny: That would really piss me off if I didn't have a buzz going on.

Penny: I'm serious. Who wants to do all that stuff? Have insurance, pay mortgages, leave one of those little notes when you hit a parked car.
Amy: I told you it was Penny.
Penny: Oh come on. It wasn't me. Anybody could have knocked your mirror off. Or whatever happened.