Leonard: Besides, can you even name one romantic thing you've done for me?
Penny: I can name tons.
Leonard: And sex doesn't count.
Penny: Oh.

Penny: Okay, what happened between you and Amy?
Sheldon: Can you believe she said I embarrassed her?
Penny: Yeah.

Penny: You can't tell her what she can or can not do.
Sheldon: Last week you told Leonard he couldn't wear his wookie jacket out in public.
Penny: That's different. I'm not going to the mall with somebody dressed like a dumb space bear.

Penny: You know, not a lot of people know this. But the monoamine oxidase enzyme was discovered by a woman, Mary Bernheim.
*Amy and Bernadette look puzzled by Penny's knowledge*
Penny: That's right, my phone is just as smart as you guys!

Penny: Awkward silence, Sheldon on his phone, no touching; somebody's having date night.

Penny: Hey, Princeton, look at that. Team community college-night school is in the lead!

Penny: Bernadette told me everything. Now you don't get the left or the right.

Leonard: Come on, not that book! It's got like every horrible story from my childhood in it.
Penny: Oh cool, are there pictures?

Penny: Not even the one on the breast feeding crisis?
Leonard: It was not a crisis. Apparently I favored the left one, she got a little lopsided.
Penny: Oh my God, you still go left!

Leonard: Since when can Koothrappali talk in front of the girls without a beer?
Bernadette: Oh, it happened just after you left.
Leonard: And no one told me?
Howard: (Emotionally) I can't believe we forgot to tell him.
Penny: *Hands Howard the Vagisil coupon* Think of Sheldon when you apply it.

Amy: He's mad at you, too. He says you're the succubus who led his friend astray.
Penny: I don't know what succubus is, but it has "suck" in it so that can't be good.

Sheldon: Please don't take my looking forward to Leonard coming home as criticism of you in his absence. That criticism will come later in your report card.
Penny: Yeah, I didn't stay for the detention. I'm not going to read the report card.

Sheldon: I suppose there's no choice but to face the crying, angry accusations, and the high pitch wails of despair.
Penny: Yeah and who knows how Amy will react.

Sheldon: Did you also have a dog? Because I found what appears to be a battery-operated chew toy.
Penny: Party's over. Party's over.

Leonard: You know we could throw a dinner party too. Maybe even ask everyone to get dressed up.
Penny: Sure. Just when you say dressed up, you mean nice clothes, right? Not like capes and tights and crap
Leonard: Yes. Although...
Penny: No.