Stuart: Well, uh, let's see. You've got your basic clean-cut good guys, Superman, Spider-Man, Captain America. Then you have your darker anti-heroes, your Batman, your Wolverine, Punisher.
Amy: Ooh, I do love a bad boy.
Penny: As evidenced by your boyfriend and his fear of hamsters.

Bernadette: Well, what if the Hulk picked up Thor while Thor is holding the hammer?
Amy: Yeah?
Bernadette: Then by the transitive property of picking things up, Hulk picked up the hammer.
Amy: No. Hulk picked up Thor, Thor picked up the hammer.
Penny: Okay, hang on. If I go to a bar and pick up a guy, and he picks up a girl, and then we all leave together, did I pick up the girl?
Amy: Did that ever happen?
Penny: Hey, are we talking about me or are we talking about Thor?

Leonard: Well, I'm-I'm just saying, what are you gonna do when he wants to talk about high-level language interpreters for microcomputers?
Penny: What are high-level language interpreters for microcomputers? A way of programming computers using words and commands instead of binary code.
Penny: Oh. That's actually kind of interesting. Tell me more.
Leonard: Oh, well-
Penny: That, I'll do that.
Leonard: I didn't even see it coming.
Penny: You never do.

Leonard: Hey. What you got there?
Penny: Oh, I grabbed a sandwich at the food truck out front.
Sheldon: Wait, n-now, hold on. Tonight is Friday, and I believe you know what that means.
Penny: That my fun, young life took a drastic turn somewhere?
Sheldon: No.
Leonard: But yeah.

Leonard: Ah, I should've taken that gavel and shoved it right down his throat.
Penny: Ugh. I would've gone the other way, but it would've gotten to his throat.

Penny: So you just let him get away with anything?
Amy: Well, not anything. But honestly, pastrami sandwich is not the hill I want to die on.
Penny: It's not about the sandwich. It's about the principle.
Leonard: Yeah, principle. And a little bit sandwich.
Penny: Yeah.

Penny: You know, sometimes stuff just happens, and there's nothing you can do about it. For example, Lisa Peterson hasn't talked to me since the 11th grade, because no matter how much you apologize, you can't go back and un-dry-hump someone's boyfriend.
Sheldon: I see. You're saying I'm facing Starfleet Academy's unwinnable command scenario, the Kobayashi Maru.
Penny: Exactly. Sometimes you can't win.
Sheldon: Captain Kirk won.
Penny: Kirk cheated.
Sheldon: Impressive that you know that. It's hard to believe I'm actually having this conversation with you.
Penny: Right there with you.

Bernadette: Amy can't take him, it's her bachelorette party this weekend.
Amy: Yes, it is, because (excitedly) I'm getting married!
Penny: Are you gonna be doing that all weekend?
Amy: Yes. Do you know why?
Penny: (excitedly) Because you're getting married!

Amy: Okay, now, I promised Sheldon things weren't gonna get too crazy tonight. Should I be worried?
Penny: Oh, just about who you're marrying.

Penny: Hey, why'd you lug your telescope all the way over here? Leonard has one in our apartment.
Raj: Yeah, I'm gonna use Leonard's. Might as well hold my hand up like this and squint.
Penny: I don't know. It seemed pretty good. You know, once when the cable went out, I watched an entire episode of The Bachelor on a TV across the street.
Leonard: This one's more of a professional model.
Penny: So was the girl he picked!

Penny: Who is that?
Leonard: Sheldon.
Penny: Who is he mad at?
Leonard: Neil Gaiman.
Penny: Who's that?
Leonard: Not us.
Penny: [clink glasses] Great.

Penny: Are you kidding me?
Leonard: Well, he is the one who knew it was a comet.
Penny: No, he didn't. He thought it was an eyelash!
Raj: And you thought it was a fuzzy streak. I mean, do you even know what a comet is?
Penny: Yeah, the thing I saw first.

Penny: Okay, look, I Googled it. I took the picture, so it's my discovery. (scoffs) He stole my comet.
Leonard: I know, but on the other hand, do you really care?
Penny: Yes, I care. This happens to me all the time. People take one look at me and assume I don't know what I'm talking about.
Leonard: Oh, I'm sure that's not true.
Penny: I'm sorry. Are you saying I don't know what I'm talking about?
Leonard: No, I'm not saying anything, ever again.

Leonard: I know I don't say it enough, but you go, girl.
Penny: That was enough.

Sheldon: Okay, that's question 20, you have to guess.
Penny: Oh, God, I don't know Sheldon, are you Star Wars?
Sheldon: How can one person be a whole movie?