Sheldon: But while we're on the subject of fashion, I'm asking the university for some funding tomorrow. What should I wear?
Penny: Mm. Well, I've got a push-up bra I can loan you that always gets me free drinks.
Amy: How much money are you asking for?
Sheldon: $500 million.
Penny: Then I'd go no bra.

Amy: [answering the phone] Hello?
Bernadette: I feel bad about hanging Penny out to dry. The truth is, I don't like the dress, either.
Amy: Are you kidding me? Now Bernadette doesn't like the dress?
Penny: (whispers) Oh, she is the worst.

Sheldon: As I was saying, you and Leonard had a disappointing sexual encounter. Earlier this evening, Leonard characterized it as just fine. So what you're seeing here is a continuation of the mocking that followed.
Penny: Okay. Yeah, well, I'm just gonna go eat my dinner elsewhere. Maybe an airplane headed for a mountainside.

Penny: It was ... okay.
Leonard: Okay?
Penny: Yeah, it's a perfectly good word. I mean, you put it in front of dokay and you really got something.

Penny: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm not feeling so hot either.
Sheldon: Why would that make me feel better?
Penny: I don't know, empathy?

Penny: Why on earth did you agree to all that?
Leonard: It was the best apartment I'd seen, the rent was very reasonable and after you've passed the first three barriers you kind of want to take it all the way.
Penny: Well, I'm sorry, Leonard, it's very hard to feel sympathy for you.

Mrs. Fowler: Larry, come on.
Leonard: I don't think he's in there. I mean, he came by to water the imaginary plants, but then he left.
Mrs. Fowler: You are so naive. Blondie here is gonna chew you up and spit you out.
Penny: Well, don't tell him.

Mrs. Fowler: Oh, he's in here. I can smell his Axe body spray.
Leonard: He wears Axe body spray.
Penny: You happy? You smell like Amy's dad.

Penny: Ooh, come on.
Leonard: Ah, shouldn't we mind our own business?
Penny: Wow, sometimes it's like you don't know me at all.

Mrs. Fowler: No message, no note. Who would do that? What kind of husband would-
Leonard: If you let him talk, maybe you'll find out.
Mrs. Fowler: Fine. Larry?
*Mr. Fowler shrugs his shoulders*
Penny: Well, there you go. What more can he say?

Penny: I know, really, what did he ever see in her? He's so, so sweet, and she's such a ballbuster.
Leonard: Some guys think strong women are sexy.
Penny: Yeah, but they seem to have nothing in common.
Leonard: Yeah, well, sometimes opposites attract.
Penny: Wait, are you saying we are like them?
Leonard: I don't know, maybe a little.
Penny: So you're the sweet, quiet one and I'm Amy's mom? Is that what you're saying?
*Leonard shrugs his shoulders*

Leonard: Morning, sunshine. So I see you're making espresso.
Penny: Yup. Just need that extra jolt for a successful day of ballbusting.

Mrs. Fowler: He said he needs a break, and I'm too much for him.
Penny: Oh. I'm sure he didn't mean that.
Mrs. Fowler: He said I'm overbearing!
Penny: Oh, please, you're just the right amount of bearing. Look, I know he loves you. If you just give him some space, I'm sure he'll come back.
Mrs. Fowler: You really think so?
Penny: Yeah, I do.
Mrs. Fowler: You're a good person, Penny. I hope we get to spend lots of time together.
Penny: Me, too.

Penny: Hit the road.
Mr. Fowler: But-
Penny: Now!
Mr. Fowler: Can I get my stuff?
Penny: Be quick about it!

Howard: How are you two married?
Leonard: You were there. I wore her down.
Penny: He did.