Leonard: How do you feel about children?
Penny: Um, they're okay, I guess. I mean, if I saw one, I wouldn't throw a rock at it.
Leonard: Why would you throw a rock at a child?
Penny: (chuckles) I just said I wouldn't.

Penny: Hey, Leonard, remember yesterday when we were talking about having kids someday? Yeah? Well, what if it wasn't someday.
Leonard: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, are you pregnant?
Penny: No. No. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Leonard: So?
Penny: No.

Penny: Hey.
Leonard: Hey.
Penny: I made you dinner. Your favorite: In-N-Out Burger out of the wrapper on a plate.

Penny: You were talking about all the things you thought you would never have, so I thought I would get you one.
Leonard: Oh, my God. You bought me the Batmobile?!
Penny: No. No. No, no, no, no, no. I rented you the Batmobile for the day.
Leonard: This is amazing. Thank you.
Penny: Be careful. I did not get the insurance.

Bernadette: So, are you actually engaged to this woman you just met?
Raj: Yeah.
Penny: Tell us the truth. Did she get you pregnant?

Penny: Hi. We're Raj's friends. I'm Penny. This is Bernadette. We just came by to introduce ourselves.
Anu: So you came to check me out?
Penny: She's smart. I like her.

Penny: He also cries every time Hugh Jackman sings.
Bernadette: But not cute sniffles, full-on snot sobs.
Penny: But he is great.
Bernadette: So great.
Penny: Yeah.

Leonard: What were you guys giggling about?
Penny: They were passing notes to each other.
Leonard: Oh-ho, love notes?
Penny: If you love math.
Sheldon: And we do.
Amy: It's for our super-asymmetry theory.
Sheldon: Yeah, Amy and I have been having so much fun collaborating together.
Penny: Well, you know what they say, you never collaborate as much as your first year of marriage.

Sheldon: The fundamental problem with elementary quantum mechanical formalism is that the Fourier transform extends to minus infinity in time.
Penny: Hey, don't dumb this down for me.

Leonard: Oh, Sheldon. Didn't see you there. What's up?
Penny: Well, uh, he was excited to talk science with Amy, but she was working late, so he decided to come over and share it with me. With me, Leonard. With me.

Penny: Okay, well, Leonard's here now. You can talk science with him.
Leonard: Where you going?
Penny: Oh, that thing you were late for. One of us should really be there.

[Penny arrives back in the apartment, out of breath]
Leonard: It's three, right?
Penny: Just shut up.

Raj: Good evening, I am Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, and usually I take you on a trip through the stars, but tonight, we'll begin our journey much closer to home, 220 miles straight up to the International Space Station, which is manned by a team of brave men and women.
Bernadette: (Russian accent) Flexible men and women.
Penny: [to Leonard] Switch with me.

Leonard: Hey, if you really want to dress up, we could throw a party.
Penny: Oh, that would be fun. You know, I used to throw Halloween parties all the time when I moved into the building.
Leonard: All the time? I only remember being invited to one.
Penny: Please don't make this awkward for me.

Leonard: Hey, happy Halloween.
Penny: Oh! Trick or treat.
Leonard: No. Sorry, you're not wearing a costume.
Penny: Yeah, I am. I'm a pharmaceutical sales rep.
Leonard: I'm gonna need more.
Penny: Okay, failed actress who traded constant rejection for a Christmas bonus and a dental plan?
Leonard: Go nuts.
Penny: Oh. I will.